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Old 11-14-2010, 01:37 AM   #1
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Unhappy fiancé deliberately impregnated one of his ex-girlfriend's

Hello!!!

This may be a long long story but it's almost the summary of my life for the past few years. I sincerely need help and orientation. so, please take time to read it and give me some advices if you don't mind.

I'm still a student but I'm living with my fiancé since almost a year and half. He engaged me it been six months and my family really love and appreciate him. We decided to get married just after my studies and have babies.
Everything seems perfect, life was beautiful. I was about to complete the 2nd level of my three years degree and he was already done with his master but didn't get a job yet.

My fiancé was someone with a great interest in women when we first met. We talk about it and he explain me that he was not mature yet but those days are over. He said that he had really changed and the only girl he really want and who really matter for him is me.

He explained me also that he face problems with his sexuality which is too high.
I got it and I told him that we will face it together and I even gave him permission to have sex with others girl as long as he protects himself and don't lie to me. But he said he doesn't want anything like that, he just want to overcome his sexual pressure.
However, we had a 3-some just before his birthday last year, we met the girl online and she agreed to have sex with both of us. But I did it mostly for him because he suggested it. After that things were still ok, life was still good.

Things started going bitter when two (2) months ago I faced some issues with my PC and I was forced to use his own PC to do some research.
His Facebook and some other pages like Skype open automatically any time his computer start.
I mistakenly clicked on a contact on his Facebook. The conversation was with the girl we had the 3-some. They were talking about her coming over without me knowing. They ask each other to show their body and private part while I was sleeping.
I was upset, I started viewing all his conversations and they were dirty, all sexually orintated with some girls I know and hundred more that I don't.

I confronted him about it and told him that I went in his conversations.
He reply that he himself can't read again those conversations because he knows that they are dirty, that he had never had sex with someone else except the girl of the 3-some. He said that the girl initiated that conversation and he just wanted to see up to where she will reach but he couldn't do that. He told me that when he is sexually aroused he will have nasty conversation with girls over Internet just to be release of himself.
He said that he is willing to change and I should help him in that because some time he want to have sex and he sees me so tired, therefore he just go online to release himself.
He said he really wanted to stop that sexual dependancy because he is ashame of it and never expected me to discover it and see him as a 'pervet'.

We therefore took the decision to have sex on a daily basis and avoid him to stay in the sitting room alone late in the night.
After that, things were fine again. He asked me to check his conversations time to time to see how he will avoid nasty topics with his thousends of online friends.

Two weeks later, while checking his conversations I discovered one that I didn't check the last time. It was with one of his ex-girl friend. He used to tell me about her; saying that she was so pretty but she used to cheat on him.
In the conversation, the girl was telling him that she is pregnant of him. They had sex when he went in our home country ( because we are living abroad) for one month only to introduce himself to my parents six months ago at that time.
He never told me that, I have always ask him to protect himself what ever happen.

I didn't know what, how, to whom to talk; I was full of regrets. Regrets to have say "yes" to him, regret to have trusted him.

I confronted him again, he told me that he deliberately took that decision to have kids because I'm still a student and he didn't want to impregnant me before the end of my studies and when he when home he saw that ex-girl friend again, she told him that she want to have babies now and later on concentrate on her career. She has a son already with some one she is still dating but she told him that she was ready to carry his child because she still love him and doesn't ask him a single cent. She was willing to take care of the baby untill my fiancé will be able to take over the child financially.
So, they had that discussoin and they took apointment, she came when she was able to impregnate and they did it.

He said he didn't see her anymore untill he left the country. After impregnating her, he went to introduce himself to my family and every thing was great and he came back (However when he came back I saw a condom in his bag and he told me that he met a girl there and wanted to have sex with her but when he told her about me, she refused and that was the only girl he had a sexual intention. I was upset, he went away for a month only but wanted already to have sex with someone else he just met. But, by the end I let things go)

He said he never told it to anybody that he impregnant one of his ex-girl friend because he wanted to tell to me first but he didn't know how to start.
He finally told me that the girl is pregnant of twin girls.

I knew at that moment that if I tell it to any member of my family, they will never allow me to marry him anymore and I didn't know what to do.
I ask him to give me the girl phone number, I called her and she confirmed everything he said. He told me that they querrel when he told her a month ago that they betrayed me and the girl ask him to never called her back. So, I passed him the phone and they talked.

He apologysed thousends of time but I didn't see the need, it wasn't an accident. He decided to have those babies with someone else when I was there doing my last level, planning with him on having baby as soon as possible because he is 28 and think that he is old enough to have children.

After that I wanted to end the relationship. He pleased me, crying, begging, telling me that he want to marry me and have babies with me. That I'm the only one he loves and he is lost without me.

We are still together, it is been a month now. I'm just there. He is doing a lot of planning about us but I'm lost. My feelings are troubled.
What if he is still lieing to me. This is what i discovered, what about what I didn't discover yet ( even if he is saying that he doesn't have secrets anymore)

Please, I'm confused. Help me. The funny thing is that I still love him and he is doing everything he can for me not to leave him. Telling me that if I end the relation, his life is finish, he will just become a drucker and a womenish as he used to be, telling me that I changed him and he is proud of being my future husband. That he just need some more time to adjust some aspects of him character.
He said he will talk to my parents on the appropriate moment.

What can be the best solution for me?.
How should I handle this situation?
Am I giving him to much freedom?
Should I take those twins and rise them by myself?
Should I just terminate the relation?

Please help, I'm lost!!!

Thank you in advance for your time and suggestions.

 
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Old 02-07-2011, 06:26 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
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DreamsInRainbow HB User
Re: fiancé deliberately impregnant one of his ex-girl friend

Wow, I can't believe nobody replied to this one...... I guess it was just too much...... are you still with him? Please update on the situation......

 
Old 03-10-2011, 01:18 PM   #3
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Re: fiancé deliberately impregnant one of his ex-girl friend

Autrichelle

I too am curious, are you still with this man???
If you really want an honest opinion, you sound like a very nice and smart young lady who does not deserve a man who is so selfish that he lies to you on a constant basis. This is a man that can not be trusted and the last thing you want is to get married to this man and have children with him.
A marriage is two people who love and care for each other, a marriage is NOT two people and the a girl with twin girls here, a girl and maybe another baby there, and several girls all doing strange online things.
This man is not showing you any respect, something that is important in a lasting relationship.
Find someone who is sweet, kind thoughtful, HONEST and FAITHFUL to you.
Let me know how you are doing.
__________________
Brenda

Last edited by shisslak; 03-10-2011 at 01:20 PM.

 
Old 03-10-2011, 01:46 PM   #4
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Re: fiancé deliberately impregnant one of his ex-girl friend

What a shame that Autrichelle came to us for advise on this terrible situation and no one noticed until many months later. This makes me even more determined to respond to the threads who have no relies, even if just to tell them that we care and not leave them with no responses, especially to such a heart breaking story.

 
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