Re: Leave or Stay
Why would you be the one to leave?
I can't see any reason to stay in the marriage unless you want a marriage of convenience. But considering the length of the marriage and the reason it would be ending, I'm not sure I understand why you would need to leave the home.
Have you gotten legal advice?
Here's the thing: I'm no expert but you are married to a gay man. Call it bi, call it bi-curious. The fact is he's cheating and he's not motivated to find other women, who could also preform the service, to get what he wants. He wants men. It doesn't matter how hard he tries to be a good husband, you are not the person he's desirous of being married to and you can't be that person.
Frankly, you hold the trump card here. I personally have no issue with being gay. But I hate to read you putting yourself down and fearing venturing out on your own when you are in the drivers seat and can't see it. I am in NO WAY suggesting you threaten to expose his behavior. But I don't think you understand that he might be very motivated to make you happy in a divorce settlement if he understands that it's not going to harm him in any way, that you will honor his request for privacy and that you are doing this for both of you.
If he is a decent man, if he is anything near that man you love but are not in love with, then he should be willing to work with you to help the two of you to move on with your lives. He's only happy where he is because you are functioning as his beard. You deserve better.