HeartBrokenInIQ

My wife told me couple of days back that she has filed for divorce. We have been married for 8 years and have a 4 year old son.

I had been chatting on internet and cyber porn for year, even before marriage. For the first 4 years of our marriage, I didn't do such things but then after 4 years we moved to a new country with a newly born baby. My wife got busy with him and I got busy with my new job that was extremely stressful. Somehow during that time I started internet chatting again and one night she caught me watching porn. She left me taking our son away. I felt guilty of crime and stopped it immediately.

After months and months of persuasion we agreed on building the relationship again. But she never moved back in with me. I continued living abroad and she lived in my hometown at her own place. We stayed together as husband and wife whenever I visited back every 2-3 months. During this time after a break of a year or so, I started the internet thing again. I know now that I was a fool to do that.

I also tried bringing her back into my place but she refused for various reasons including the security situation of the place. This August I moved to a new and much safer country after discussing with her that we should move together. She came for a week or so and left as she had already started a job in a different country. She left our son with me of whom I am currently taking care of.

This weekend she suddenly messaged me that our relationship is over and that she has filed for divorce. She stated my cheating as the reason for divorce. She even tried taking pills and had to be taken to the hospital. I just could not believe that this is happening. I know I was a fool to take it forgranted. I know I should have never betrayed her again after what had happened, but I did. The irony is that I stopped all of that internet thing a year or so ago. I am not doing any such thing now, but it seems that she got hold of something that I did in past and just couldn't take it anymore. I don't blame her for this.

I know that this marriage is over, but I still want to save it. I love her more than anything else in the world. I can't believe that this thing has came back to haunt me after I stopped doing it. I am willing to do anything she will ask for if she will take the divorce application back. But I know it is unlikely now. I just dont know how to handle it now. I know I messed it up badly, and I know that I was wrong in doing what ever I did. But then what is done is done. I can't turn it back. And I know the simple answer now would be to reap what I have sown, but this is my last hope to get some workable advice here.

Even if it is remotely possible, I'll give it all my heart trying. I do sincerely love her and don't think will be able to survive this divorce (I know many had felt like this before). I also worry alot about her and our son. In our religion there is no turning back after divorce and I also fear that if she'll feel to forgive me after sometime it would not be possible. I have asked her to delay this breakup for sometime but her answer is in negative. I also worry about our son not getting love and care of both parents and I know I should have thought about it earlier. I was a fool to get involve in any of that nonsense.

Is there a chance that I could make her change her mind even if for few months hoping that by then her temper would have cooled down a little and I'll make her listen to me at least.

In desperate need of help.