Years of drinking and abuse... and still around? Why?
I have never done this before but I am so lost and really need advice. What follows is my best to sum up a 10 yr marriage. I married 10 years ago and have 2 children. I made a mistake early in the relationship and lied about someone from my past. I did so because I didn't think it mattered. That lie got me 10 years of physical and emotional abuse, drinking and infidelity. I have been slapped, kicked and pushed around by a man who said he loved me. He even pushed me down while pregnant. Slapped me while holding a newborn. I have lost jobs because of his jealousy. I have lost relationships with friends and family members. I have been a stay at home mom since 2003 because having a job causes too much stress. He is very controlling and jealous. In 2009 he physically came after me accusing me of cheating, which I was not and never have. He was removed from the home that night. I divorced him in 2010. 2011 I was informed of his infidelity during our marriage (3 different women). He is currently back at home for the 2nd time since our divorce. I am not happy. I believe he has a drinking problem (drinks 7-10 beer a night) and refuses counseling. He has a sexual addiction (requires it daily, or watches porn daily). I have been to counseling but he refuses to go. Because of the years of abuse and drinking I don't want to be close to him, don't trust him and he doesnt understand why. He says he will not go to counseling and I just need to accept him the way he is. I feel I need to just move on with my life but am so scared!