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Old 01-25-2012, 11:18 AM   #1
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Here we go... need separation advice

Everything went to he!! in a handbasket last night. Really, the longest nite of my life. I couldn't wait until it was time to for him to go to work!!

Kept me up from 3:00 on just rambling, angry, venting about me not puttin him 1st because I was talking to a friend having a dilemia w/ her teenager when he called me. Turned in to him being upset about my "semi-A", as I refer to it (see earlier post from me if interested) and just on an on for 3 hours or more.

We have two amazing kids and I'm just devastated for them. They have been exposed to way to much and our daughter was awaken last night by our talking (loudly). This is one of many, many times this has happened. Christmas was the worst-he went wacky on me at 3:00 a.m.!

Anyway, as many of you can prob relate, it just breaks my heart to drag them through this. Having an unstable, tense household where parents argue is no good and neiter is divorce.

I hit a wall though and really want him OUT OF HERE. Cannot tolerate anymore of the craziness. I don't want to hear his voice, don't want his apologize, etc.. If it weren't for the fact that I know he is going to flip, I would tell him today. He has already told me he would pack up the kids if I ever make him leave. Asked me today if I would stick w/ him while he tried an anti-depressant but I think that will only back fire on me. He will resent me and it will be my fault that he is having to take them.

My question is, as badly as I want him to leave now, I should prob get legal advice first, right?? Just don't know my options should we get into a tangle about the kids, moving them, their furniture, etc.. The lease is in my name so I would think he can't take anything really. Just don't want to have to involve police or anything wacky like that.

I'm just worried b/c I have no $$ accessible to me for about 2 weeks and even then, it's quite limited. Do have an appt. w/ attorney on Fri and have expressed my concenrs about $$.

Anyway, any advice at this point??? Should I just go stay with a friend for a couple of days? I just don't know...Thank you!

Last edited by rileymo; 01-25-2012 at 11:26 AM.

 
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Old 02-26-2012, 06:39 AM   #2
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Re: Here we go..need seperation advice -update

I did it! I filed for divorce! It was 2 weeks ago Friday. It's been a rough ride - very emotional and stressful but I am so at peace with my decision. Not sure where things will land with custody, civial/uncilvil relationship, etc.. but things are moving so that I (and my children) will finally have some peace in our lives.

Just wanted to share in case those of you in similar situations wanted to discuss, have any questions or just wanted to share. Thanks!

 
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Old 02-26-2012, 07:44 AM   #3
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Smile Re: Here we go..need seperation advice

Good for you for making such a tough choice for you and your children. Always remember, A happy and loving and stable home is what children really
need...and that is priceless.

 
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Old 02-26-2012, 10:46 AM   #4
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Re: Here we go..need seperation advice

Thanks for the vote of confidence. It was a tough decision but not because of me but b/c of my kids. However, when I could visualize telling my kids, I knew I was ready.

Prior to deciding to divorce, I tried to have a calm/rational discussion w/ him re: our options and an agreeable seperation. He showed many signs that he couldn't do it that way and I knew if/when I filed, I'd have to do it the hard way.

He flipped on me for the last time two weeks ago. Went to the attorney to file, changed the locks, packed his stuff and things for the kids and I to be gone for the weekend. He was served that day! Things seemed okay and we actually were able to talk through the details of the divorce--until the following day. Long story short, I have a Protective Order against him for the kids and I. Our hearing is Tuesday a.m. Wish us luck!

Take care everyone.

Last edited by rileymo; 02-26-2012 at 10:48 AM.

 
Old 02-26-2012, 04:35 PM   #5
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Re: Here we go..need seperation advice

Dear Rileymo,

I wish you and your children the best of luck Tuesday. You will have good days and bad days...but most of all peace of mind. Divorce just seems to have those moments. Hang in there and be strong.

Again, the best to you and your children.

N2hlth

 
Old 02-27-2012, 08:57 AM   #6
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Re: Here we go... need separation advice

good for you.....it doesn't matter how attractive someone is.....if they're not treating you right and it's not a healthy relationship, they have to go!

 
Old 02-27-2012, 10:06 AM   #7
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Re: Here we go..need seperation advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by n2hlth View Post
Good for you for making such a tough choice for you and your children. Always remember, A happy and loving and stable home is what children really
need...and that is priceless.
Yes,,, I agree!

 
Old 02-28-2012, 06:30 PM   #8
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Re: Here we go..need seperation advice

Thanks so much. It was a very stressful day but in the end, things went okay. We didn't see each other which was good -but very strange. Just the attorneys going back and forth.

We agreed to reduce the PO to 1 year and he will begin supervised visitation this week. He will also have to start paying a little child support next week but I was weak there and allowed them to cut the standard in half. I can change this should I chose in the dirvorce but for now, just glad to be getting some help.

So glad it's over! Or at least this part. Thanks for your support.

 
Old 02-28-2012, 06:30 PM   #9
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Re: Here we go... need separation advice

rileymo I support and applaud your decision!
you absolutely did the right thing!

 
Old 02-28-2012, 06:33 PM   #10
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Re: Here we go... need separation advice

Thank you so much, RoseQuartz. It's so easy to get weak and back down but every time I started to feel that way, I would talk to a friend or family member that knew what I had been through or of a similar situation and they gave me strength to stick with it.

He has until Monday to respond to the divorce order and then the 60 day waiting period ends April 10. We'll see where it goes from there. Hopefully things will settle for a bit now.

Thanks again!

 
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