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Old 02-29-2012, 09:17 AM   #1
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Hdestus HB User
Deeply Hurt

I will not go into everything that has happened over the last 27 1/2 years of our marriage. Other than to say we have both done things through the years to hurt each other. We do have four kids 26,25,24,23 two of which still live at home. We did get married young I was 18 she was 17.

For the last few years I have felt things have been going better than they had been for along time. We had been starting to do more with each other than we had for awhile.

I got into an argument in Jan. with my one son that lives at home , Said I could not do this anymore packed my stuff and went to hotel for the night. After spending the night alone I realize that I do not want to lose my wife. That what I can't do any more is have the arguments over are grown kids that are still in the house. That I want them out of the house and into their own lifes.

Two weeks after this she told me she wants a divorce. It felt like a knife going threw me, knowing all we have been through and all we have worked out. However over the next week things seemed to be going back to normal. She than went away for the weekend of her birthday ,this had been planned for months, when she came home she said we could not even share the same bed anymore.

I have asked her to go to counciling , she says it won't help that we have done that before. Last time we went to counciling was 15 plus years ago. She has decided to go but I feel it is only to appease me to prove that our marriage is over.

How does one cope knowing the only person you ever loved ,Doesn't want to be with you anymore?

 
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Old 03-01-2012, 08:47 AM   #2
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renko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB User
Re: Deeply Hurt

I'm so very sorry that this is happening. I don't know if you ever saw the movie Fireproof but it was about a man whose wife wanted to divorce him and he was given things to do for her no matter what her reaction for 30-40 days. There is a book about it too. I hope you get counseling and that you can get to the root of the problem. I know that most men and women or wired differently and men many times don't know that their wife is so unhappy and communication has been lost. There is a disconnect emotionally and it can be very difficult for both parties and especially when your children are still home. I wish you the best. I hope you have some good friends you can both counsel with. The years and history that you have had is something not to be taken lightly and commitment to saving your marriage is something that could take place. It takes two to make a go of it. Take care.

 
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Hdestus (03-03-2012)
Old 03-02-2012, 06:37 AM   #3
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Re: Deeply Hurt

I'm sorry for the hurt that you're feeling, but it may be that you will need to let her go. I left my ex after 25 yrs. He was very hurt at first, but we are friends now. As our children grew up, we became more like roomates than spouses. People grow together and apart. After the dust settles you may find that this was the best thing for both of you. Either way, take care of yourself.

 
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Hdestus (03-03-2012)
Old 03-03-2012, 04:22 AM   #4
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Re: Deeply Hurt

Thank you both for your reply's

Since I first posted this, I have been coming to terms with all of it. Not that I want to lose her , but I have come to accept her decision and have started trying to figure out what to do with my life.

Been checking out places to live, Thinking about what I can do to move on in with my life. And just doing this makes me realize I can still have a life without her.

Wondering if it really has been that comfort zone with each other that we got stuck in .

 
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