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Old 03-10-2012, 05:14 AM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Mali
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aiddma HB User
Pregnant and my husband wants divorce.

Hi Everyone,

This is my first time posting here. This is my situation: I have been married for only 2 years, but my husband and I met when I was 13 and I an 33 today. During those years we kept sporadically in touch (he always asking for number to people who know me and contacting me when I was out of our home country asking me to come back so that we can get married). Finally, I came back home end of 2009 and we got married in March, 7, 2010. Since we got married, there have not been too much bound or complicity between us, to me, we do not have the same character as I find him immature. On the other hand, I got two houses (the first with the money I saved while working in the US, the second with the help of my mom, that he hates so much). He asked me to change the second house on his name so that we could move in which I tried but did not work out. So were living in a rented house which he pays. And I put both of my houses in rent. Also, when we got married, my green card process went through (I had added his name) so did my Canadian permanent residency process (but the Canadian, only for me) (I studied and worked in the US but while there, I started the Canadian process since green card was tough to get). We had to travel to the US to validate green card, and coincided with the birth of our first child in June 2011, I sold a land I had to afford for ticket and pocket money. He took a loan to pay for his ticket. We came back home after the birth, and 2 months later, I got pregnant again, although I used a birth control method (but I did it 3 months later, so I was already pregnant). I came to know about this pregnancy end of january 2012, while I was almost 5 months pregnant. We were already separated (we got separated beginning of January and I came back to my mom's house). I have to say that I felt that his family, specially my sister-in-law has not liked me very much....and has not been very supportive. My husband was leaving me lonely, spending time with his family in the neighborhood. And didn't want me to go with him. I helped him buy a car and was always taking cab for my own transportation. He has started the divorce process the 5th of january, the audience got postponed to February 21, my lawyer presented the pregnancy certificate. They have asked me to appear in person in court to confirm the pregnancy on March 6, which I did, my husband argument on that day was that I want to move to Canada and stay there for 3 years to get my citizenship whether I am pregnant or not, but the judge decided to suspend the case till I give birth.
I am planning to go to the US for delivery, but I am so afraid to settle now either in US or Canada with two babies, a job to look for, housing to look for.....etc, etc...I still have a job here in my home country and was planing to come back after delivery to work and save money so that I could go and validate either my green card or Canadian citizenship.I have to say that my family is very supportive specially my mom who is planing on going with me to assist me with the delivery.
I have such mixed feeling and cries sometimes though I know it is not good for the baby...I have headache very often. Has any of you have been in this situation? share your experience.

 
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Old 06-03-2012, 07:42 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Iowa, USA
Posts: 7
virtuallyemily HB User
Re: Pregnant and my husband wants divorce.

Wow - that is a tough situation. Moving between countries and jobs with small children alone sounds like a nightmare. I don't really have much to say and you posted this a while ago but I feel like you put your heart out there so I wanted to validate that that does sound difficult but based on you previously going between countries by your self working hard and saving money that it seems like you can do this.

I would also caution be careful about your husband possibly using your children as bargaining chips/revenge etc. Since you are planing on moving between countries it does make kidnapping cases more likely since international custody disputes are hard to deal with. I'm not trying to scare you and you will probably be fine but just try and be careful about that.

 
Old 06-04-2012, 12:47 AM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Mali
Posts: 2
aiddma HB User
Re: Pregnant and my husband wants divorce.

Quote:
Originally Posted by virtuallyemily View Post
Wow - that is a tough situation. Moving between countries and jobs with small children alone sounds like a nightmare. I don't really have much to say and you posted this a while ago but I feel like you put your heart out there so I wanted to validate that that does sound difficult but based on you previously going between countries by your self working hard and saving money that it seems like you can do this.

I would also caution be careful about your husband possibly using your children as bargaining chips/revenge etc. Since you are planing on moving between countries it does make kidnapping cases more likely since international custody disputes are hard to deal with. I'm not trying to scare you and you will probably be fine but just try and be careful about that.
Thanks a lot for the advise.

 
Old 06-06-2012, 10:47 PM   #4
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: Pregnant and my husband wants divorce.

It's kind of hard to understand your post...I'm not sure what your asking exactly.

It doesn't sound like your sad over separating from your husband, and honestly it doesn't sound like you should be, the two of you seem very mismatched. Are you scared of being alone with 2 children? I have to wonder why, you seem to have a lot of family support and it doesn't seem like your husband was much help anyways.

You talk of having to find a home to live in, but you said you own 2 homes...so why wouldn't you live in one of those? It's all kind of confusing.

Kat

 
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