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Old 04-01-2012, 04:25 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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AllMixedUp1 HB User
I am so lonely...

3 weeks ago, i asked my husband for a divorce and as I sit here and watch him carting away everything that we accumulated over the past 14 years, I find I'm not as upset about it as I thought I would be. I will not miss the material possessions he is taking - which is just about everything, but it is what I had to agree to to keep the land and house - an I am OK with it.

What is dragging me down is the sheer loneliness I now feel - all the time - like a huge weight on my chest all the time. We were not good together - never really had been - and not good for each other, only bringing out the worst. He was emotionally and mentally abusive - I am not sad to stop being married to him - I look forward to the day that everything is final on paper.

But when do I stop feeling this painful loneliness...when will I be able to come home and feel like me, whoever that is, and not feel physical pain at coming home to an empty house...there is something to be said for having someone to come home to regardless....

He isolated me from my family, and I have only handful of people I'd even call friends, and then only at work as I have never been able to really go out or do anything without husband - every book and article says to surround yourself with a social circle.. I don't even know how to do that..

I guess I'm just getting it all out, but the reality that this will be my life once he is moved out....

How do you get past the overwhelming emptyness that this leaves behind...

 
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:00 AM   #2
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Kimbellina HB User
Re: I am so lonely...

Time. Give it time, I remember feeling just like you several years ago, but the weight lifted and I finally understood that I was free!! And so are you. Take it slow, join a gym or a club. I took line dance lessons. LOL!!! I still stink at it , but it was fun. You can do anything you feel like now. Hang in there. Oh and there's alway redecorating to do. Best of luck. I promise, these feelings will pass.

 
Old 04-06-2012, 03:09 AM   #3
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allyjones88 HB User
Re: I am so lonely...

Even though your loneliness may feel inconsolable right now, you will move on. Women should be there for each other through these hard times. I'm going through some things that can help me relate

Last edited by moderator2; 04-06-2012 at 04:09 AM.

 
Old 04-07-2012, 08:14 PM   #4
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Location: Jax, FL USA
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easygoingguy HB Usereasygoingguy HB Usereasygoingguy HB Usereasygoingguy HB Usereasygoingguy HB Usereasygoingguy HB User
Re: I am so lonely...

You are lonely and that happens in divorce. It's the worst part. And a lot of people don't have a bunch of friends that can come over any time. Being home alone all the time is not good, so do try and get out if you can.

How to meet new people? There are now some good web sites to meet people for friendship/dating, even if you are just separated for now. One out there is very popular and free and you can make new friends fast. You'll find lots of people to start making new connections. It's today's way of meeting people, and it's great.

Last edited by moderator2; 04-08-2012 at 05:54 AM.

 
Old 04-08-2012, 05:37 PM   #5
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Lovegsd HB User
Re: I am so lonely...

Sorry to hear you are going through this and feel lonely. I too am in the beginning stages of a messy divorce and am not currently living at my home. My husband is trying to turn my daughters against me. I have some supportive family and friends but I still feel very alone and anxious. We own two small businesses and have some family that work for us. He is trying to turn them against me by telling them he will have to buy me out and he may have to sell the business so the employees are all anxious. This is a nightmare and I wish I were over it.......

Please know that you are not alone in your lonlieness.....

lovegsd

 
Old 08-31-2012, 07:01 AM   #6
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Washington D.C.
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ofifoto HB User
Re: I am so lonely...

That's EXACTLY where I am this morning (your post motivated me to register and respond). My instincts are telling me to turn to and confide in my spouse -- who has always doubled as my best friend -- but now I have to (somehow) learn to console and encourage myself.

 
Old 09-21-2012, 12:06 PM   #7
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Join Date: Sep 2012
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Felix58 HB User
Re: I am so lonely...

Know the feeling well. It will lighten up. Try not to stay alone by yourself to much. My dog helps me alot to. Try to plan things to look forward too. One step ata time..

Last edited by Felix58; 09-21-2012 at 12:06 PM.

 
Old 04-10-2013, 01:27 PM   #8
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Nashvillle, TN, USA
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tiredgirl7 HB User
Re: I am so lonely...

I hate to say this but reading your post and some of the responses has made me feel a little better about my own situation. My husband and I have two small children, and although I hate knowing that they are living in an unhappy household, I don't want to make them victims of a broken home. I am going up against my husband in court, and I don't have anyone to turn to for support or encouragement. Good luck to all of you who are struggling and know that you might feel alone but there are many others out there who know exactly how you feel.

 
Old 04-11-2013, 11:24 PM   #9
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Posts: 109
miss345 HB User
Re: I am so lonely...

Honey, you do it one day at a time...You don't try to push ahead to the next year, but stay in this time in your life...IMO, there is nothing as wonderful as peace of mind...Years ago I had a problem similar to yours only not my husband...But, it completely tore me apart...I thought my heart would break...But, I took it slow...I didn't try and rush the recovery from the hell on earth that I had gone through, but instead found a new part of my life with each passing day...

You will not be lonely without him...You will now find the real person within yourself that has been in hibernation...I send you all my love....ILD....

 
Old 04-12-2013, 04:57 AM   #10
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: England
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missdown HB User
Re: I am so lonely...

dont isolate yourself from your family they understand and they will also help you pull through take it one step at a time... things like this will take time but once the papers are fully completed your free, you also feel lonley because your isolating your self, the freinds you have should understand how your feeling

going out for a night or two every now and again should also help you build up your confidence and make you happy.

you dont need to worry about being alone, you will find some one who will worship the ground you walk on and treat you like a princess

 
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