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Old 04-14-2012, 01:58 PM   #1
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Betrayed - don't know where to turn

Me and my ex broke up after a 2 year relationship in January. I still love her with all my heart, and I know that I will never be with her again.

I'm having a lot of trouble letting go of it all and I don't really know what else to do. I've deleted her number from my phone, I never memorised it. I removed her from all social sites, xbox etc, threw out all the things she bought me.

I haven't spoken to her since March 4th, but there isn't an hour goes by when I don't think of her, which is in itself killing me.


One of my closest friends called me last night and told me that he's been seeing my ex. I told him that I don't want to speak to him anymore and left it at that.


I had come to terms with the breakup and missing her, and I think it was beginning to get easier. Now this ..

I just don't know what to do. If anyone has any advice, I'd be grateful. I am slipping into depression and the hopelessness is starting to seriously affect me.

 
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Old 05-01-2012, 07:45 PM   #2
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Re: Betrayed - don't know where to turn

May I ask why you broke up? Was it mutual, did she want to break up, was there any cheating?

 
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Old 05-02-2012, 06:17 AM   #3
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Re: Betrayed - don't know where to turn

Quote:
Originally Posted by jilas0127 View Post
May I ask why you broke up? Was it mutual, did she want to break up, was there any cheating?
She wanted it, I still don't know why. She wouldn't say.

 
Old 05-02-2012, 09:45 AM   #4
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Re: Betrayed - don't know where to turn

Well, since it was her decision, there is really nothing you can do. It is very hard, and on top of that, she is dating your friend. I have been betrayed and I know how bad you are hurting. the only thing you can do is move on with your life. Try to forget about both of them. It's going to take some time, but it will get easier. Keep yourself busy. go out with other friends, stay close to people who care about you.

 
Old 05-02-2012, 05:00 PM   #5
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Re: Betrayed - don't know where to turn

I'm trying. It's nearly 4 months since we split and I still think about her every day. I've taken up rock climbing, started running and working out regularly and I am usually busy with work. I feel like I'm just getting used to the feeling of her not being there, rather than moving on, and I'm not sure what else to do.

 
Old 06-03-2012, 04:42 PM   #6
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Re: Betrayed - don't know where to turn

It sounds to me like you are making the best of a bad situation. Break ups are terrible and take time to feel right again. I think you seem to be doing all the right things though. You have accepted that the break up is final, you have removed objects that could fuel or lead to an obsession over your ex, you have started positive activities to both distract yourself and that probably make yourself feel better about you.

While I don't think anyone "owns" another person your friend wasn't being a good friend to you by dating your ex and it is competently understandable not wanting to talk to him again. If seeing anything that reminds you of her still hurts (and it hasn't been long so that isn't unreasonable), it's understandable you can't be around someone his is actually seeing her.

Basically I think that you need to give yourself credit for handling yourself well and regain your strength to continue doing what you're doing.

"I feel like I'm just getting used to the feeling of her not being there, rather than moving on, and I'm not sure what else to do. "

This is all we can do after something very terrible has happened. Personally, I don't think we heal from trauma (not saying this is necessarily traumatic for you - that's something for you to decide not me, but it applies either way) as much as we get used to it. What I mean by this is that you may never be the person you were before that terrible thing happened, but you will get used to it and begin to have room for new good things as well. You have been shaped by your experiences and are a different person because of this but this can mean that you are a deeper, more experienced, healthier person for it who knows themselves and have confidence to face future trials.

 
Old 06-13-2012, 04:51 PM   #7
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Re: Betrayed - don't know where to turn

I'm sorry you're going through this.
I'm sorry but your "friend" is not a real friend. How could he date your ex knowing you have feelings for her? That's so wrong. And I think you did the right thing by cutting him loose.

Is it possible she broke up with you for him? maybe they were seeing one another on the side? I'm sorry to say it but why else would she have broken up with you? And now then she ends up with your friend. It's a little fishy to me.

Either way, you deserve tons better and one day you'll find it. Right now you're going through depression because once you accepted the break up which was hard as it was, your friends goes and pulls this. So it's completely understandable. But try not to let them get the best of you. Honestly, I know you have feelings for this girl but they deserve one another. You can do better, believe me.

 
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