Married to a man who despises women?
I am needing some advice. I'm married for over 8 years and have two wonderful little girls. My husband has become increasingly difficult to deal with. He has a contract job overseas, and I know that's difficult. I've tried to cut him alot of slack. He's gone 2 months and then home 2 months. On his two months home, he drinks every day and seems desperate to party and enjoy the times he lost out on while he was over seas. However, when he drinks, I become a target and he picks fights with me. Accused me of getting cozy with some man we had met when we went to a barbecue at a friends house. I was sitting with my baby on my lap and looking at a few videos but he didn't speak to me for 3 days, yet the next day he went to a bar with the same friends, including the man in question, and didn't say a word to him. I refuse to drive in the car with him because he is constantly criticizing my driving. I quit driving with him in the car 2 years ago aside from being his designated driver. After him drinking the other night, I was driving the speed limit on the freeway. Some idiot flew past us and he automatically assumed I was going to slow and proceeded to yell at me about it. I consider myself a pretty strong person. I have fought back for so long, it seems like he wants to drag my self worth through the gutter. I'm just about over the whole thing. This time home, he also got obsessed about the whole gov't is corrupt thing, Alex Jones and youtube. I got tired of him talking about it, and told him that I thought we really needed to focus on his time at home, making memories. He accuses me of being unsupportive. According to him, his mother, his sister (who he absolutely hates and despises) and his first wife all were horrible to him. I think he has issues with women, and even though I get along with his mother, I've seen a little of her calculating ways. How can I continue staying with him and my two little GIRLS when he has this opinion of women. His parents came up this time when he was home and they are religious. He got sloppy drunk in front of them and was looking like a fool. His excuse? He's a grown man and they should respect him because he doesn't hide who he is. It seems like he's lost his self respect. He certainly has no respect for me, or anyone else I've seen him around really. I really thought I'd love him forever, but I can only take so much before I really don't want to be around him. I'm seriously considering divorce for me and my kids sake, but don't know if I'm just not seeing a big picture and I want to be a supportive wife, just not a doormat. Would love to hear some advice on the topic. Today I tried to talk to him about the drinking and the man he accused me of getting cozy with. He said he knew I "enjoyed the attention" and that he deserves a few beers after being overseas. That he isn't hurting anyone. I bring up the man and he goes off saying how i broke his heart because I was loving the attention. I said I didn't want to be around him drinking anymore at all, and that doesn't leave much time when he's home. So I bring up divorce because he thinks his drinking is just fine and he says don't bother, he'll go kill himself and save me the trouble. The manipulation and the crap I'm dealing with needs to stop. We've tried counseling in the past and it went no where. He said it didn't help and that guy didn't know anything. End of my flippin rope here and just about ready to quit. Would love some input.
Last edited by Administrator; 06-28-2012 at 02:01 PM.