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Old 10-21-2012, 07:06 PM   #1
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Amcin HB User
Husband left me 6 weeks ago

6 weeks ago husband decided he needed a seperation. We have 2kids 4 and 6. We have always been great friends, but we have led a loveless, sexless emotionless marriage for 8 years. We are both to blame, but most of the blame resides with me.
We went on a marriage retreat 1 week after he moved out and the retreat was terrible because I was in such a place of desperation of wanting him back that we didn't get out of it what I was hoping

He comes over to see the kids often and it's very awkward between us. We are worlds apart. I feel like I don't know him anymore.


He is currently living with his parents until he can get a House of his own which is November 1

He is very very angry with me and cannot even see himself with me at all. I wnt nothing more than to be with him. Every time i see him I cry. I am do devastated and I am sure that is pushing him away more.

I hate when he takes the kids for the day. I miss them terribly.
We have a trip to Disney booked in 3 weeks and he still wnts to come. We can't go like this. He can't even look at me in the face and I just cry.

We both started therapy separately. He is looking to have his feelings of seperation validated and I am trying to figure out what is going on

How do I prepare myself for the inevitable that he's leaving for good? How do I prepare my kids?

Any advice would be welcome.

 
Old 10-21-2012, 07:59 PM   #2
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gmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB User
Re: Husband left me 6 weeks ago

Hi amcin, welcome to healthboards. So sorry that this is happening. Why did you say it was your fault? A sexless, loveless marriage for 8 years then, because you messed up a marriage retreat of ONE wknd and now you say it is all your fault? Am i missing something? Why do you say its mostly your fault? It sounds like you loved him! Or are you just wanting not to break up the family because thats what moms do? Im so sorry for the pain! Its unimaginable. And when he "acts" normal & ok like when he comes to see kids, it seems to you like he's not hurting, while to you it feels like your life is falling apart. What happened for him not to be able to look at you? Guilt? Or anger at you, for what? Do you know? Are you scared to ask because if you dont act normal he will get angry? Or because you dont want to say anything & rock the boat worse than its already rocking? Excuse me for all the questions but, i have had to" hold my mouth right" & just pray he would change his mind. & Say to me "its not over, i didnt mean it. Then, all could be back to normal. Except me, I'm crushed.But happy, until next time. So, what is the story besides you want him back. What made him change his mind after 8 years? All this pain, i wish i could spare you from it. What do you want? And why?

 
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