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Divorce & Separation Message Board
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Old 10-24-2012, 07:01 PM   #1
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Location: Wisconsin
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inmommyheaven2 HB User
Divorce and family

I've been separated for two years and legally divorced for six months. My ex-husband has no boundaries and seems to feel that all of my friends and family belong to him. Both of our family of origins live in the same city about 4 hours away. I have been good about allowing him and my daughters to stay with my parents when they visit but it is getting hard because it seems as though they support him more than me. Neither of us were happy in the marriage but I'm the one who asked for the divorce so it seems as though my parents pity him. I expressed my concerns and asked my best friend to distance herself a little from him. Instead my ex invited her to my family's home and my mom, dad, sister and best friend all had dinner with him and my kids. It's really hard to think about them all there hanging out together. It feels like betrayal. In the beginning of the separation when they came to where I live now, they would choose to stay with him if that is where the girls were. I don't want anyone to hate him, but I would like to feel like there is some separation. While I am respectful to his family, I don't hang out with them. I made that separation. He invites my friends over for "play dates" and because of this I have just backed away from many of my friends because I know he can be very two faced and I don't know what he's saying to my friends. For example he complained to my family about the fact that he has to pay child support and they supported him. (I was a SAHM for 5 years and am just getting back into the working field so he makes about 5 times as much as I make) Anyway, with Thanksgiving coming up (he has them this holiday) I'm thinking he will be going to my home town and will probably stay with my parents and celebrate the holiday with them and to be honest I don't like that thought. If I never brought my daughters to see my parents it would be one thing but they usually see them monthly even without his involvement. So I guess I would just like your thoughts. Am I being selfish and unreasonable to want people to act like a divorce has occurred? Should I be okay with him staying with my parents when he visits my hometown? What should I do about this situation? It is starting to wear me down. TIA.

 
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