This is my first post to HealthBoards, so please bear with me if I mess up here and there on the rules. That said...
Im a 35 year old educated professional guy, who was in a very unhappy marriage for 4 years. After 4 years of alcoholism (on her part), I realized that I couldn't do anything else to help (some may say I quit), and moved out. Yes, I did love her, and it took me 2 years after moving out to fully cut my ties and file for divorce. We had no relationship in that two years and barely talked. 10 months ago, I started dating an amazing girl. I was extremely honest to her about everything. About life, and how my marriage was, and how i was still very scared of getting into relationships. My current relationship has helped me move on, and I feel much strongly about this girl.
Here lies the problem. She lives in a different city. The LD relationship is not a problem. Actually helpful, cause its allowing me to heal and move on. But she is wants to move to the same city. Which, how I feel now...is PERFECT. I want her to be close, so we can get to know each other more and better. However, she says we should LIVE together. My knee jerk response was "im not ready" . I feel like that came across as I dont want to be with you to her. She is really upset now, and anytime moving comes in discussion, she really just shuts down, and seems visibly upset.
This is very opposite of her in general. She never gets upset or mad. I mean we have literally argued once in the last 10 months. However, I feel like she cant understand how difficult it is for me to just jump into the boat again. To me living mean long term committment, and marriage to follow...NOTHING WRONG with that. And in my mind, I do see her as the one I will end up with in my life. But I just cant get the point across, NOT YET. I mean my paperwork isnt even final yet for my divorce.
She says its been 2 years, and if I cant move on and take this step now, then something is wrong.
Now I am coming to the feeling that maybe there is
Any thoughts or comments? Im sure there are more of people like me out there.