Adopting a DS infant - Down Syndrome Message Board

hlhsx3 · 06-05-2005, 08:44 AM

Hi!
We are a couple that has 2 living children ages 6 and 7. We have had 3 infant daughters that died shortly after heart surgery for a severe heart defect (not DS related). We would like to increase our family. We plan to do this through adoption.

Yesterday we were made aware of a situation of an infant that has DS and a heart defect. We are considering this. We feel that we know all about the hospital systems, heart centers, Early On assistance etc. and this might be a great match.

However, we do need to take our 6 and 7 year old into consideration. Can you tell me the pro's and con's of adopting a DS child. Some of our friends think we are crazy. They say it is one thing if they are born to you but another if you take it on willingly.

Any words of advice would be great!
Thanks!!!
Julie

Chris_H · 06-05-2005, 01:39 PM

I don't have any direct experience. I know of a woman in the area that has many children, including two she adopted with DS. So it certainly is possible to do, and do well.

I would think that integrating an adopted child would be just like any other brother/sister. Personally, I think that the attitude that a DS child is "less adoptable" than a typically developing child is unpleasant. I think those people have probably not spent any time around anybody with DS. I have never heard of anyone regretting the time they have with somebody with DS. All of the literature I ever read about families with a member with DS is how enriched the whole family is. And certainly, I feel that way about my daughter. She's a blessing.

Ultimately, you have to do what you feel is right.

Good luck,
Chris

hlhsx3 · 06-05-2005, 03:09 PM

Hi Chris,
Thank you for your reply. I am sorry if I angered or upset you. I never wanted to say that I think adopting a DS infant is less then a "normal" infant. I too, have read that DS children enrich a families life not hinder it. I just want to make sure, as with any child that I know what to expect. I know that DS children can have other health issues. Do they require frequent hospitalizations? Doctors visits? I know that their life expentency is the mid 50's so that is great.

Before we adopt any child with or without health issues be them DS or any other I want to get as many ducks in a row as possible. We really want to adopt a child. However, I need to consider the two I already have. You never know with any child how long you have with them or if they get struck with some deadly or hard illness. After having my kids go through loosing 3 siblings I want to prevent more heartache if I can. So, I didn't want to go into this adoption thinking without knowing if there were things I didn't know about.

I don't know if that makes sense. I just don't want to offend anyone. We are really excited at the prospect of welcoming this child into our family.

Thanks!
Julie

Chris_H · 06-06-2005, 01:16 PM

I didn't mean to imply that I was offended by you. I am possibly offended by your associates, depending on what their intention is, which I can't tell from a few lines in an email.

My daughter was healthy right from the beginning. She's been in the hospital once, for bronchiolitis, at 6 months. She was there for 12 days, on oxygen. She has never had a heart surgery, or a bowel problem other than not liking to pass BMs. She didn't even spend any time in the NICU, which some tell me is a good sign that she'll be pretty healthy her whole life.

This child's history may already tell you something about her health.

Good luck,
Chris