Please help me I have no clue - Down Syndrome Message Board

Roscleo · 05-17-2002, 03:43 PM

My husband and I just found out a couple of days ago that he is the father of a 7yr old little boy with Downs Syndrome. Can anyone tell me what to expect and how do deal with a child with Downs Syndrome? I am sorry if I sound ignorant but I am new to all of this. Please help me!

Tifferbelle · 05-19-2002, 07:40 PM

Congratulations to you and your husband! Apparently this was unexpected news but you'll never regret your involvement with his son. Most of us get them as babies so we just learn as we go. Generally speaking they should be treated like any other child. It would be good to find out his developmental age and treat him as you would treat a child of that age. For example, if developmentally he is like a 3 year old, you can expect typical 3 year old behaviors. Like all children, Downs kids vary as to personality and abilities. Basically they act like typical kids, but younger. Look for all that's good and positive and you will find it. Read up on Down Syndrome. Even though this child is 7 I would recommend that you go back to the beginning to get an understanding of what his life has been like up to now. A great book is "Babies with Down Syndrome A New Parents Guide" by Karen Stray-Gunderson. Another is "Count Us In" by Jason Kingsley and Mitchell Levitz. It gives you information right from the source as Jason and Mitchell both have DS. A great one also is "A Special Kind of Hero" by Chris Burke and Jo Beth McDaniel. Chris was the actor who played Corky on the series "Life Goes On" back in the 80s. I hope this gives you a start. I'd love to hear how this turns out for you. Tiffany

[This message has been edited by Tifferbelle (edited 05-19-2002).]

siobhan · 05-20-2002, 01:35 PM

I think that Tifferbell is right on track with her advice.

I just wanted to chime in and say congratulations, knowing someone with DS is an education in itself.

Good luck and I would be interested to see how it goes!

Bentzion · 05-22-2002, 07:44 PM

Hi. First off, don't be frightened. My wife and I have a 4yo boy with DS who is the sweetest, gentlest, mischevious, ticklish, fun to be with kid. Children with DS are still CHILDREN. They need love and give love, lots of it. All of the previous advice is right on target for information about DS and what to expect, etc, but you should also let your maternal instincts take over for a while and just be a mommy to this wonderful gift that has come into your life.
Will the child be living with you and your husband? How is his health overall? how are the special schools in your area? begin learning about different therapies, so you can take an active role in his development. Under the right conditions, children with DS can and will surprise experts with their ability to learn and function at a far high level than was expected.
NEVER SAY NEVER for your child. Be as positive as you are able about his ability master new abilities. Children with DS do learn allbeit at a slower pace.

You should look forward to many years of happiness and sunshine in your home.
If you have questions or concerns, email me and I will try to answer you asap.

IwantToSaveTheWorld · 07-09-2002, 09:03 AM

take it one step at a time like you would a child w/o DS. But in the end you will be very blessed to have that little creation a part of your life. I promise you you will have bad days, but that comes with all children. They love there independence.
I dont have a DS child, but i have worked with them closely and they just take my heart in all different directions. There amazing ability to see life in a different light, all there accomplishments and goals they end up conquering everytime.
I have a son of my own who is 3.5 and i dont know what i would do without him, guarenteed you will feel the same

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Melissa from Boston