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Old 08-31-2007, 07:31 AM   #1
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mainelady HB User
Down's Syndrome

I need some good advice for support of my daughter & her husband who may be expecting a Downs baby. I want to make the rest of her pregnacy & the babys birth as normal and happy as possible.

Last edited by mainelady; 08-31-2007 at 10:50 AM. Reason: delete

 
Old 08-31-2007, 01:47 PM   #2
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thulsdadoom HB User
Re: Down's Syndrome

well, nothing is normal about a down syndrome baby. I don't know how you can help make it "normal"

They will claim they are blessed if they keep it, either they have that starry-eyed look that the Saved have, and are making a religious comment, or they wanted a child and are not bothered by the fact that it has DS. That's fine. They are very sweet children as babies.

But most people will abort. Almost nobody delivers a DS (or any) baby and then tries to adopt it out - that makes no sense, because once the parents see their baby they do not want to give it up. Plus, there are virtually no parents waiting for a child to adopt who would take a DS baby. They won't even take a black baby. And none of the anti-abortion ("pro-life") nuts will adopt them either - as soon as it isn't a fetus (and thus their views don't control the woman), then they lose all interest in it.

Most are not high functioning or even close. The actor who played Corky was a very high-functioning Down syndrome person, and is not typical of the average level of functioning. A lot of criticism was levied towards that, as it is an attempt to mislead people. If a couple were to see that and think that that was an example of what their fetus had, it would be very misleading and inappropriate.

You didnt state how old the mother is. Since the incidence of DS increases with maternal age at delivery, then a 45 year old woman, who has a 1 in 12 chance of having a DS baby, will be 63 when the child is 18. When the mother dies at 90, the DS offspring will still only be 45. Who wil care for it?
Most families are unable to support a child for life, even after they pass on. What to happen to the child then?

This is a tough decision that cannot be taken lightly, nor can anyone be condemned and accused of having a pregnancy terminated "for convenience" if they do have choose to abort a high risk pregnancy.

I wish the new parents to be good luck in having a healthy baby.

 
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Old 08-31-2007, 04:30 PM   #3
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momtofour HB User
Re: Down's Syndrome

Wow, that's a pretty strong opinion thulsdadoom!! Too bad a lot of your facts are wrong!!!! There are very long waiting lists for babies with ds. With Early intervention a child with ds can look forward to a very happy and productive life. And, more than half of the mothers with children with ds that I personally know are in their early to mid 20's. I was 32 when I delivered my daughter and I am one of the older ones.

Grandma to be... I know this is scary, but I promise you what ever the outcome with your support and unconditional love you and your kids will get through it. I found the first year was a little more scary and overwhelming. There are a lot of medical possiblities that come with ds. The first year will be spent correcting or ruling out some of these issues. Most of these test will come back negative. But, it will also be a time of great reward. During this time, the little ball of flesh who has ds will become a person. A little personality with likes, dislikes, a sense of humor, loves, and a drive to do things. It didn't take long before I stopped seeing the ds and started seeing my beautiful little girl. She is a super-star. I don't feel sorry for her. She is growing and achieving more than I expected.

Also, get in contact with the local Down Syndrome Association. They will lead you to parent support groups (you can visit before the baby is born). books, classes and other resources.

The only people I feel sorry for are the ones like thulsdadoom who can't see past their ignorance to enjoy the blessings that come with down syndrome.

 
Old 09-04-2007, 09:52 AM   #4
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scaper HB User
Re: Down's Syndrome

Ditto to everything that Momtofour said. Excellent post & MUCH more accurate. The first year was the hardest BUT the rewards for the difficult times are so so very sweet. IF there are major medical issues, those will be dealt. But mostly, the first year is just filled with learning and getting to know your precious new baby.

Kids with DS do lead productive, fulfilling lives. Often times they are happier and much more social & community minded than many adults that I know. People with DS have the unique ABILITY to look past all the junk that we without DS often times get caught up in & waste hours, days, even years being weighed down by.

My son is 8. He is in 3rd grade at our local public school. He is with the "regular" 3rd grade class well over 50% of the day. He rides the bus to & from school ... just like all the other kids in our neighborhood. He has a best friend. He goes to birthday parties. He is the #1 Fan of all the girls on his sisters' Varsity softball team. He has likes & dislikes of clothes, food, and movies. He wants to be just like his Daddy and he has never, ever, failed to give me a hug & kiss when we say goodnight.

He is a little boy. Different than some kids? Yes, he is. And, I'm GLAD. I am not a religous nut - nor am I blinded by the illusion that there hasn't been hard times - there have. I am simply a Mom who loves my Son. I am not perfect, and he loves me .....

Please do not give thought to the negative posting by thulsdadoom. For whatever reason, there are those people that just aren't happy -

Congratulations to you & your family on your upcoming arrival.

 
Old 09-08-2007, 10:33 PM   #5
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joanna4578 HB User
Re: Down's Syndrome

Thulsdadoom
Where did you get your information- from med books written in the early 20th Century????? My kid is high functioning and so are her friends. She could write you under the table judging from the way you wrote your post. Stop being so high and mighty judgmental. Doubt anyone would want to adopt you. You don't sound too normal to me.

 
Old 09-08-2007, 10:34 PM   #6
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joanna4578 HB User
Re: Down's Syndrome

Quote:
Originally Posted by scaper View Post
Ditto to everything that Momtofour said. Excellent post & MUCH more accurate. The first year was the hardest BUT the rewards for the difficult times are so so very sweet. IF there are major medical issues, those will be dealt. But mostly, the first year is just filled with learning and getting to know your precious new baby.

Kids with DS do lead productive, fulfilling lives. Often times they are happier and much more social & community minded than many adults that I know. People with DS have the unique ABILITY to look past all the junk that we without DS often times get caught up in & waste hours, days, even years being weighed down by.

My son is 8. He is in 3rd grade at our local public school. He is with the "regular" 3rd grade class well over 50% of the day. He rides the bus to & from school ... just like all the other kids in our neighborhood. He has a best friend. He goes to birthday parties. He is the #1 Fan of all the girls on his sisters' Varsity softball team. He has likes & dislikes of clothes, food, and movies. He wants to be just like his Daddy and he has never, ever, failed to give me a hug & kiss when we say goodnight.

He is a little boy. Different than some kids? Yes, he is. And, I'm GLAD. I am not a religous nut - nor am I blinded by the illusion that there hasn't been hard times - there have. I am simply a Mom who loves my Son. I am not perfect, and he loves me .....

Please do not give thought to the negative posting by thulsdadoom. For whatever reason, there are those people that just aren't happy -

Congratulations to you & your family on your upcoming arrival.

 
Old 08-06-2008, 05:10 AM   #7
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mommyrach HB User
Re: Down's Syndrome

Joanna4578 Please do not listen to the mindless chatter of others. My very dear friend has a DS child and he is so so so awesome. Of course it was scary in the beginning, but I can tell with you all of my heart he is a perfect child. He does have some medical issues and they are all worked out due to the diligence of his parents and great doctors. I almost vomited reading the post from that truly ignorant soul who posted a response to you. I can't not believe we live in such a world where people can live in such a bubble and be so foolish. To all those who are even considering leaving a message such as that ever again, please don't. It is not for you to declare what type of child any baby should be. And for the fool who did post that nasty message to you I say this: The politically correct term for a child with DS is special needs. NO CHILD IN THE WORLD IS NORMAL. There is typical and special needs and they are all wonderful. Please stop spreading the disease of ignorance in our world. Joanna all the blessings in the world on your future grandchild. If he or she is born with DS, don't worry it really will be OK!

 
Old 08-06-2008, 08:55 PM   #8
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Kay3282 HB User
Re: Down's Syndrome

Hi,
Well not knowing if your baby is downs or not during your prenency is tough, has she had an amino?
When my son was born we did not know he was going to be downs, it was a shock but at the time, he had other medical problems going on which was our main focus, once we got threw that, his heath improved and I thought to myself-I have allot to learn. I did go threw allot of emotions but as time went on, you learn to accpet it and move on
My family was very involved , He had to had therapy starting at 6 weeks old, my parents would watch my other two kids so I could focus on the therapy with him, they would watch him for me and were very interested in everything he did. To this day, my son has a specail place in each of my family members heart. He is so loveable and caring, he see's the good in everyone, he loves music but truely sings off key. He make me laugh everyday and he has a big smile. Just be there for your daughter, be involved and supportive and everything will fall into place.
Kay

 
Old 09-09-2008, 06:36 PM   #9
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moody318 HB User
Re: Down's Syndrome

mainelady - first congratulate them and make sure all family members do the same...they are expecting a child...a blessing and this is a happy occasion...don't let people say, "i'm sorry" or other negative things. You could also get some reading materials to start to learn about the syndrome. Remember however, things you may read may not relate to ALL children with DS. You can contact your local Early Intervention people to talk about therapies and things that you can later setup, just so you know what kinds of things are available....that may be a step too soon but it is an idea.

Celebrate the child and pray for good health. REMEMBER this is a child with DS not a DS child....it is a baby first. Congrats grandma!!!

 
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