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Old 09-11-2007, 08:28 PM   #1
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annmar7 HB User
Behavior issues, longstanding, with 14-year-old son

Please anybody...when my son was born 14 years ago, his birth was very fast and to me, traumatic. He was at a high station in the birth canal and then I pushed - out he came. He was quiet - as I think may be normal for DS babies, however he was bruised on his upper lip and had tiny red dots all over his face that were there for a long time. To me, he was born too fast and I think that has been what his problem is now and has been since he was 2 1/2 years old and was diagnosed ADHD. He is currently on Concerta, Prozac and Risperdal-all for behavior issues. He is also hypothyroid and takes a med for that also. He is very verbal, completely mobile and very frustrating even on meds. Because of his age, puberty has been a problem - that is why Prozac has been added to his other meds. I love this child, as does dad and his 6 older siblings, however his behavior makes it very hard to enjoy being around him for a long time. He is bright, his IQ tested at 69 when he was three. I don't know how they got that much out of him at that time but he has always been an excellent problem-solver! My problem is this-I know he is a very difficult child and school is a particular problem - EVERYDAY! I feel like we are the problem because there are issues at school I feel that are our fault (the family's inconsistency with behavior and discipline) and I want to do more but it seems like the only options are more or different meds. He is a very loving boy but bull-headed and obstinate, he will aggravate all of us until we are so angry we send him to his room or take him there. Is anyone out there dealing with similar issues or had them....how is it going???? I want my child to be liked by everyone but with his current behaviors I think they are all glad to see him go home for the day or be with mom (me) because he straightens up when I am with him to a certain extent. HELP - I was even wondering if completely detoxing him and starting over would even be a remote option! I and my husband are older parents (me-53, dad -54) and I don't think we could physically and emotionally handle that. But I would want info on that also. He has also had the influence of older brothers, teenagers, and has quickly picked up lots of their behaviors and does not forget a thing when it comes to what gets someone's attention!!! I would love to hear from anyone that has any ideas. Thanks for listening.

 
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Old 09-12-2007, 10:31 AM   #2
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Karen W. HB User
Re: Behavior issues, longstanding, with 14-year-old son

Hello
My son who is DS is now 22 years old and he is wondfull, he is very loving and he is funny-he's a nice guy. Now when he was around 14 years of age, he was not so nice, he had some anger issues , it was very strssfull, most of it is puberty, look at a normal child who has no disabilities, there off the wall to, they don't know how to act and there behavior is disrupting, so now you have a child with DS who is going threw this and he cannot handle it either. When my son would get very angry, we found out that raising our voices made it worse, We would talk in a soft calm voice and give him his space, then when he is totally calmed down, we would sit and talk-(calm voice again) we would tell him that he is such a nice guy and that we loved him BUT what you just did was wrong and nice guys don't do that, when he dose something good, praise him up and down, they love to be prasied and when they are priased for there good deeds, they try to do more. If you not satisified with his school maybe you need to check out some other programs for him. There was this teacher my son had who had all specail needs teen-agers, He always talked to them in a calm tone, played calm music and he had no problems with his class, he siad that this is a very difficult stage for these kids and they don't need allot of excitement because when that happens, they act out. He had them doing allot of art, gardening and walking. I hope this helps.
Karen

 
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