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Old 12-20-2009, 03:26 PM   #1
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road runner 33 HB User
DS and test results

My son and daughter in law have been told they have a definite risk of giving birth to a child with DS. They have had the ultrasound and amniocentisis test both of which point to DS. My daughter in laws mother has told her that the test is not always reliable which seems contradictory to what I have found so far. She is also only showing her daughter the up sides of DS and doing this without involving our son which is wrong. It is clear that she is trying to influence her daughter in her final decision.It is obvious that she has her opinion and is not open to anything contrary. We have told both of the parents that we would stand by whatever decision they make and have given them our personal side of what to expect (although our son has already lived through it as a sibling)Both parents are 38 plus and have two young boys one of which has a speech defect although not severe but requiring further management. Having been through the situation of having two children with severe and finite diseases, I have seen the emotional etc side of raising (?) children in this situation. Although DS is nowhere as severe as in our case, there is however the issue of parents age and whether or not they may outlive a child with DS and who if any cares and looks out for that child then, the welfare of the other two children and the effect on them (although this can be managed well), and the assistance that will be required from external sources. The mother in law (of the daughter) is not capable of giving sufficient assistance due to her age and health problems, and we live some 2 and a half hours away and are in our 60's.
I realise that this is complicated but your ideas would help.

 
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:31 PM   #2
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mehoo HB User
Re: DS and test results

Quote:
Originally Posted by road runner 33 View Post
My son and daughter in law have been told they have a definite risk of giving birth to a child with DS. They have had the ultrasound and amniocentisis test both of which point to DS. My daughter in laws mother has told her that the test is not always reliable which seems contradictory to what I have found so far. She is also only showing her daughter the up sides of DS and doing this without involving our son which is wrong. It is clear that she is trying to influence her daughter in her final decision.It is obvious that she has her opinion and is not open to anything contrary. We have told both of the parents that we would stand by whatever decision they make and have given them our personal side of what to expect (although our son has already lived through it as a sibling)Both parents are 38 plus and have two young boys one of which has a speech defect although not severe but requiring further management. Having been through the situation of having two children with severe and finite diseases, I have seen the emotional etc side of raising (?) children in this situation. Although DS is nowhere as severe as in our case, there is however the issue of parents age and whether or not they may outlive a child with DS and who if any cares and looks out for that child then, the welfare of the other two children and the effect on them (although this can be managed well), and the assistance that will be required from external sources. The mother in law (of the daughter) is not capable of giving sufficient assistance due to her age and health problems, and we live some 2 and a half hours away and are in our 60's.
I realise that this is complicated but your ideas would help.
Hi,

The amnio is pretty much 100% accurate.

All I can say is as the parent of a 9-year-old with DS, I know that it's not easy raising her, but neither is raising my other kid, and it's not even close to as hard as I feared it would be. I laugh at what I feared back then. I would never ever give her up.

 
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