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Old 05-10-2012, 03:22 AM   #1
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Join Date: May 2012
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Clemmie73 HB User
Over Affectionate.

I'd like some advice regarding my sister who has DS. She is in her 30's and recently she has become very affectionate with my 2 sons who are 13 and 12.It started off with her usual hugs , but it has developed into a constant bear hug ( she's quite heavy ) and trying to kiss them ( not on the lips ...all over their face ) She will also jump on top of them when they are watching tv on the sofa and my youngest boy says he can't breathe sometimes, but hasn't the strength to push her off . They feel their personal space is invaded, although I think some of it is a bit of embarrassment now they are older. My Mother thinks it's fine and gets funny if you mention anything derogatory . I'm a bit worried. It's not possible she could suffocate them without realising ? Plus do you think it's a bit unfair for them to have to put up with this ? Do you think it could develop into more..or is it likely to be just hugging ? Thanks.

 
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Old 06-03-2012, 05:00 PM   #2
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virtuallyemily HB User
Re: Over Affectionate.

I believe that all people should have their bodily autonomy respected, especially children. While your sister is obviously not doing this out of malice if your children do not want to be hugged and kissed they should not be forced to because this can both a)send the wrong message about respecting boundaries and b)build resentment toward their aunt.

I would suggest making a rule that one must either get verbal permission before hugging or kissing or maybe just that they must respect it when someone verbally tells them no. Then talk to your sister and explain that your kids love her but that it's not OK to hug them without warning and so often and that if they don't want to it's not because they don't care about her but it's because they just don't want to at that time. Also talk to your sons about what they want and maybe try to explain to then that their aunt loves them and this is one way for her to express it so maybe they could consider allowing one hello and goodbye hug and maybe cheek kiss most of the time.

 
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