Many years ago I would fill my ear canal with peroxide and leave it in for hours. I liked the feel of the sensation and I would concentrate on this for hours. eventually I stopped using peroxide because I could make the pulsating feeling (a pulsating charge running on ear nerves like a fuse has been lit running along a line of powder) on my own and could make it go in different places in my ear. I became obsessed and couldn't stop. Through the years I developed vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, chills that ran from my head to my feet.
Today I can't stop the pulsating in ear. If I exercise or work hard, my entire body shakes, high pitch ringing in ear, pursing of lips, tingling in hands and feet and dizzy and my balance is terrible.
Isn't it easy to understand how embarrassed I am to write this. Yet I need help. I have gone to doctors and they say this is impossible. I am not making us up. I have the means to go to any doctor in any country if I can be helped. frankly folks, I am becoming suicidal.
Go to the doctor and be completely honest about your past behaviour, they will have heard far worse. Hopefully you will get help for the physical problem and for your suicidal feelings, do not delay seeking help.