bad life! - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Nikkita · 01-31-2004, 04:49 AM

Im so consumed by my ED that i simply feel i cant go on.The thoughts just wont go away. Theres no rest and ive had enough!Every day is a battle and i just feel so alone.Nothing seems to be lifting the depression, not even the anti-depressant. Im so tired, i just want a rest from this. I seem to be getting sicker every day and there doesnt seem to be anything i can do to stop it before its too late. I think it already is though.
Can anyone else relate to this?
nikkitaxxx

Aurora · 01-31-2004, 03:36 PM

Nikkita. You are NOT ALONE! You have people who love you and care for you. You have all of us here too. We care, we share your troubles and understand the suffering you are feeling.
I can relate to how you are feeling. The thing is, the only way to truly get a rest from all this is to get therapy. And keep getting it until the light at the end of tunnel is shining over your head! If wishes could end this misery, then i would wish that we could all be free of it. Only actions can fight this.
Fight the fight Nikkita. Fight it so that your eating disorder doesn't win. You are so much more than your ed.
And you know what else? It is NEVER too late to keep trying. While you still have breath in your body keep trying.
Hugs from Aurora xoxo

I love these smilies!

julez85 · 02-01-2004, 05:01 AM

Nikkita, I can totally relate to that. I felt like I wrote it. I am having such a hard time right now too. I just don't feel like it is worth going on. If I finally do have a few "good" days, it is always those bad days that are looming over my shoulders, and just the thought of knowing that I am going to binge again, because it is almost like I am afriad to get rid of it. I am so scared. I am so sick of this disease. I have never been on antidepressaants, but my doctor and psychologist want me on them and are putting me on them this week. I just want to end this misery.....

Nikkita · 02-01-2004, 05:48 AM

thanks guys
I know you lot understand what its all about and i REALLY do find comfort from this. Im so glad for this board!I was meaning everyone else in my life(so called friends!)My husband has been wonderful(dont know where he gets the patience!)and my GP. Shes been marvelous too, but thats it really. Some people dont know ofcourse although they have been making comments. I suppose it is difficult for others to get their head round and i probably forget how complex an ED is.
Nikkitaxx

Dance4jc · 02-01-2004, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nikkita

thanks guys
My husband has been wonderful(dont know where he gets the patience!)and my GP. Shes been marvelous too, but thats it really.

Nikkita,
Glad your husband and GP have been great, but you need more than that, especially if you are feeling at wits end. As Aurora said you need to find a therapist. You need someone who you can form a relationship with who knows how to help you. It is hard going to someone and sharing your feelings and what is going on inside, but honestly until you are able to unlock the demons that keep you in this horrible place, you will fight a losing battle. Recovery is possible and you have so much life ahead of you. Please consider it. Take care of yourself.