Just this Friday I decided to starve myself until I lost 90 pounds. A few years ago, so people who were close to me say, I had an eating disorder - b/p. I still don't see it... But after I was diagnosed as Manic Depressive, over the period of five years, I've gained 90 pounds. And I hate it! And I thought I wouldn't have an ED if I "fasted", because it was about weight loss, I was in control, yadda yadda. I was reading the posts to see how much a person could lose in a week. While I was reading my dad came in room, and as soon as he left I started crying. What I'd been planning - it's just not ok. As someone who, without my meds, has tried suicide more than once - I can see that this is just another path leading to that same end. And I wanted to thank all of you for the things you've shared, your stories and statisics and facts. God bless ya'all, especially those who still struggle.
Hey I'm glad that we helped you decide against such actions. Sometimes people can start off like that, but they just don't know when to stop. I don't know if you read either of the threads I am usually on the 'Whats the Point' and 'Can Anyone Help' thread but I wish someone had been around when I first started my anorexia who could have helped prevent me starting on this terrible road to self destruction. Have you considered counselling, maybe you already have it, if not maybe you should try. It is a worry that you considered starving in the first place. It may be good to explore your feelings some more. Best of Luck to you.
Hugs from H xoxo aka Aurora
Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree today.
I am glad you are seeing an ED for what it is, another way to kill yourself. I know that putting on weight is hard, but there honestly is a healthy way to lose the weight. I know you are in special circumstances being on meds for your illness, but think about talking with a nutirtionalist who may be able to set up a specific eating plan for you that can help with the side affects of your meds. Aurora is right as well, that you may want to see if your parents will help you find someone to talk with about how you are feeling inside. EDs are often a manifestation of emotions that we have trouble making sense of. If you are currently seeing someone, please share with him/her what you shared on this board. You are precious and deserve much laughter and love in your life. Please continue to take care of yourself.