Just feeling down - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Ashlee · 06-10-2004, 11:58 PM

I guess I've been feeling kind of depressed these last few days. I haven't eating a single thing in two days but I don't feel even the slightest bit hungry. I'm so frustrated. I exercised like crazy yesterday, today was too tired to do anything much but I did manage to get out there and exercise one of the horses for a couple hours.

Why aren't I getting hungry? It's too soon for my metabolism to be slowing down. I WANT to feel hungry because it makes me feel like I'm losing weight. Only a few times today did I actually feel any hunger at all but not now...

This isn't fair. I'm sick of seeing what I see in the mirror. I'm sick of lying awake at night dreading the food I'll have to face the next day. I want to be underweight, I don't care if it's a stupid thing to say at this point, it's what I want.

What's gotten into me lately? I've been getting so much better I've even been able to cut the Celexa down to 40mgs, instead of 60mgs... I don't want to be depressed all my life I just want to be happy.

ivy2002 · 06-11-2004, 06:28 AM

this is just a small setback for you. you will make it thhrough this too. just eat small stuff during the day, hungry or not...maybe it will wake up your stomach when you start eating a little...the depression will go away again though...always does right

well just a little note before class, take care...ttfn

Roxie Hart · 06-11-2004, 07:29 AM

Hey Ashlee

Sorry you haven't been feeling very good. Don't really know what to suggest, but I just wanted to let you know if you ever want a chat I am here.

Take care
Milly xxxx

eminemworshipper · 06-11-2004, 07:54 AM

Hey Ashlee... I had a major downfall the other week and was asking myself the exact same questions! The weird thing is, is that I havent felt hunger in aaaaages for some reason..i could go days without feeling that feeling.. im not sure why it doesnt occur!!
Maybe you're body is just having a hard time adjusting to the dose you are taking now........i really dont know. Hope u get through this sh** time soon coz I know how sh** it feels.

x(((((HUGZ))))))x

Ashlee · 06-11-2004, 10:07 PM

Hi all and thanks for your replies.

Caroline, I think the reason you're not feeling hunger is because of the length of time you have been depriving yourself of food. Your metabolism can slow down quite dramaticaly so just a small amount of food may make you feel full.

I just didn't think this would happen to me so quickly as I have only been doing this to this extent for three days now.

Roxy thank you for your offer.

I appreciate it, I really do. It's good to just be able to talk about this stuff annonomously sometimes.

Ivy as for the depression, I'm SO fed up with it coming and going. I just want it GONE. For GOOD. Why does it always have to come back? I don't feel like this is a 'satback' because I WANT to do this. I WANT to starve myself and lose weight. Because I HATE what I look like. I'm a hidious worthless freak in my eyes and I want to change.

I'm pathetic, I know. I shouldn't really post here saying how much I want to lose weight... then again I guess that's what this forum is for. Not losing weight I mean, but for support and advice.

I'm gonna stop trying to make sense of things I don't understand now...

Take care
Ashlee