Originally Posted by Dance4jc
Unfortunately you can't tell them enough is enough, they have to figure that out on their own. Frustrating, I know. The best thing you and her mother could do is research as much on the internet and libraries as possible. Eating Disorders are not really about the food, it is about something deeper.
Your friend has something that she can not deal with or express in a healthy manner so she is using food ( or lack there of) to deal with the situation. The best help you can be to her is to listen and encourage her to seek professional help.
It may take some time and she may get upset with you at times, but continue to tell her she needs help and volunter to go with her to get it. Understand that the recovery from an ED is long and hard and if you are going to begin this with her, please make sure you can follow it through. I don't mean that in a mean way, I just want you to understand that even with help it will take months and in some cases years for your friend to get healthy. Be prepared for a journey, not a trip.
I completely agree. They have to know that they have an eating disorder before they want to help themselves. And if they don't want to help themselves, not anything will work. I know this because earlier this year, I had disordered eating. Not to an extream point but I definitely had a eating disorder.
Earlier this year, I got really sick with my IBS. It lasted for months and pretty much all I had was juices and soup. We actually had to take me out of school
and homeschool me because I was so sick. With less focus on the stresses of school + the fact that I hadn't eaten correctly in months, I soon developed disordered eating. I would have 1200 calories a day of salads and low fat and, being a teenager, that wasn't nearly enough. Before I knew it I was irritable, my periods stopped, I was always tired, dizzy, I became anemic, slept all the time...the list goes on and on. I'm 5' 6'' and dropped from a healthy 125 lbs before my illness to 107. I knew I had disordered eating after I had eaten a peice of pie and went into the bathroom to purge it up..Yet I still didn't want to help myself.
I never came to convince myself that I had an eating disorder until I was on the internet one night searching about how many calories a teenager should eat. I came across a self test for disordered eating...and I answered ever question with a yes. I just broke down and started crying....I had finally realize what I was doing to my body. I cried to my mom but she wasn't much help. She just yelled at me about how she and my stepdad have been trying to convinice me all along that I should eat more. I should do something about it and eat...not cry over it. Yelling at me really didn't help and just made me feel worse so I just decided that I was gonna stop crying and do something about it.
So, without psyciatric help, I started slowly increasing my caloric intake no matter how much it hurt. I'm now at 1500-1700 calories a day and am up to 114 1bs. expecting to gain a little more as I keep increasing my calories. I still watch what I eat and am a health freak, but I no longer have an eating disorder. I feel better, have more energy, and am living a life again. I wasn't very far into my disordered eating so I'm lucky that I caught it soon and was able to get control of it. I'm one of the lucky one's I guess.
So, pretty much, I had to want to help myself before someone else could help me. That's what she's gonna have to do. Talking to her calmly about wanting to get her professional help will also help her come to understanding . Even if she yells and you don't think she's listening, she hears you. That 's what drove me to take that self test...everyone kept telling me what I was doing to my body and somehow, I heard it. Once she comes to understand what she's doing to herself, she'll want to help herself, too.
Goodluck with everything,