Hey washee
Can I first off ask whether your friend has anorexia or bulimia? Because different things trigger each different ED, and from there each person finds different things triggering. From an anorexia point of view and what I don't like people saying to me, people commenting on what I eat really puts me off, especially when I'm trying to have a normal-sized portion of food and someone says something like 'hey that's a lot of food' or...well really any comments about food in front of me. I don't like eating in public - there are only 3 people in the world who I can comfortably eat in front of. People commenting on my weight is either 1)triggering if they say I'm looking thin or 2) makes me really depressed if they say I'm 'looking better' or 'healthier'. Aviod these sorts of comments if you can. Remember that there is always a root problem to an ED, the outcome is food but there is always something underneath whether it's bullying, abuse, a divorce or whatever. Try to find out WHY she is doing this to herself, because understanding is the first step to recovery
With your other 2 questions...When I was really deep into my anorexia, I didn't want to talk to anyone. A lot of the time when I was at school I would sit alone in a classroom all lunchtime, because I just wanted to avoid other people. Kids at that age can be so mean and I found it such an effort to socialise. I still do - social situations that involve food, or even going for a drink after work to a place where they serve food, even if we're not eating, I still hate it. It's important to involve your friend in things that you're doing like going out or whatever but she might find these situations uncomfortable. Again, I can go out with my boyfriend for a meal or a drink and that's fine, but if there are people who I'm not close to or don't really know then I just have a really **** time. I feel out of my depth, I don't feel interesting, I feel like why would these people want to be around me, I don't have anything interesting to say, I don't want to be here...I wind myself up about it and make it even worse, which ain't great! Fears...main ones are eating in public, being fat (obviously), being rejected, not being good enough. Self confidence plays a big part with EDs and anything can shoot your self esteem to pieces.
Phew. Hope that helps a bit! Ask more questions if you want coz we all love to talk (or type as it were) on this board!
Another idea is...depending on whether your friend recognises that she has a problem, you can always direct her to these boards.
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