recovery whine and rant - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Anterrabae · 05-13-2005, 08:52 AM

Okay, I've been eating over 1200 calories for four days now. God help me, I feel awful. I don't mean to discourage people away from recovery.. but I just need to vent right now. Ever since I stopped restricting, I've been feeling nauseas, angry, impatient.. I can't stand to be around anyone.. I don't have the energy to do anything. I've needed to do laundry for a week now and can't bring myself to do it. I couldn't make it to the support group meeting on Wednesday because the thought of driving there and back to was too much. I come home from work, my stomach churning, sleep for an hour, eat, watch pointless TV, and then go to sleep for the night. Ugh.. I haven't lost any more weight and I hate it! I'm frustrated with everything! I wonder if these are the feelings I am trying to clamp down on with my ED, trying to repress. I don't know. It feels so awful.

I'm sorry for the negativity. I haven't got much else right now.

firewtr38 · 05-13-2005, 08:25 PM

Hey there
I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time. Recovery is HARD work! I am really proud of you for sticking with it so far. It's really rough when it goes against all the things you have been doing for so long to stuff your feelings. Like restricting, dieting, counting calories, etc. When you actually have to start eating regularly it brings up all kinds of feelings, worries, thoughts.
The way you are feeling may very well be the stuff you were trying to repress with your ED. I guess something I'm learning is that it is ok to have the feelings, we are entitled to them, it's just what we do with them that matters. Like moving forward and continuing to eat and do what's healthy without moving backwards into restricting.
I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you. But like you said to me, keep on going because the ED is a nightmare and you have to fight it to win. It's ok to feel negative sometimes too, feel free and spill all about it when you're here

.
Lauren

nedfrin · 05-16-2005, 10:57 PM

maybe your ED was your source of therapy... When you always feel hungry- see what im saying? i am recovering from anerexia... But- maybe you feel better; more alert- and can understand the situation better... i dunno, my 2 cents..