tired and angry

Hey,

Im currently writing a food diary too and its hard work. Well iv been doin it for nearlytwo weeks now n its gettin easier. At first i kno i felt exactly like u. Its so confusing coz u want to eat and get better but u dont want to have to write it down. I also found that bein told to eat three meals n three snacks totally threw me. I dont kno why thats in the past tense coz its stil happening now. I could easily go all day without eating n now i feel greedy coz im eatin n then still binging n purging n even more often probably. I dont understand. However, it is gettin a bit easier n im findin that writin it down gets it off my chest n its there in black n white so lookin back over it i can see my triggers n how i felt b4 n after n stuff n thats really usful but im terrified of goin back to my doctor coz its gonna look bad n the thought of sb seeing what i keep to myself usually and often even deny to myself...thats so scary.

Will u keep us updated on how ur gettin on? Its gud to kno someone else feels the same as me. Its been possibly the hardest two weeks of my life. I thought i was the only one who felt like this about the whole food diary thing.

Thanks for makin me feel im not alone.

S
x