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Old 05-29-2005, 04:33 PM   #1
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What actually is Anorexia?

What is anorexia? I mean, does it mean completely starving yourself and not eating anything? I ... I just am not sure anymore. I mean, could I be anorexic? My story is that I went on a diet about 2 months ago and started exercising, but nothing seemed to work, i'd lost weight but still felt fat, so then I gradually lowered my calorie intake (before exercising) until it was around 350-400 calories before my 1-1 1/2 hours of exercising (nothing too much, just walking really fast and running). I started not eating lunch at school except for an order of french fries (which to dumb school serves everyday) but then I stopped eating lunch altogether... sometimes i'll have some fruit when i get home from school but then i'll feel guilty and I wont eat dinner either.. so lately i haven't really been eating lunch or dinner... but I do eat breakfast, which is special K cereal... that's it...my parents started talking to me and my dad is always accusing me of being anorexic, but I do eat, some.. the sad part.. is that i lie to my parents about what I eat, and I tell them that i eat lunch at school and they think that I am eating more than I actually am, and with what they think i'm eating, they think its too little.. maybe.. I dunno.. I mean, it doesn't look like i have an eating disorder, so maybe i don't.. i'm 16, 5'5", and 120 lbs. I honestly don't think I have a problem but when I was talking to my friend about how I thought I was fat, she started telling me that i scared her sometimes when I wouldn't eat anything and stuff. She said my clothes were starting to look really baggy and stuff. But Id o'nt know if she was just trying to make me think that i actually lost weight (weighed around 138 3 months ago)... I dunno.. everytime I eat i feel so guilty.. i just want to do something bad to punish myself for eating.. I'm just.. maybe I shoudl try to talk to my best friend about it, but I am too scared.... plus, this probably isn't even an eating disorder, right?

help....

 
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Old 05-29-2005, 04:47 PM   #2
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

http://www.anred.com/defswk.html

 
Old 05-29-2005, 07:41 PM   #3
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

I was just in the bathroom for half an hour trying to make myself throw up... i did a little bit..but not enough to make me happy.. what's happening...........

 
Old 05-29-2005, 10:23 PM   #4
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

Sounds to me like this can be the start of ana. Please talk to someone.

 
Old 05-29-2005, 10:27 PM   #5
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

Quote:
Originally Posted by troubled_teen12
I was just in the bathroom for half an hour trying to make myself throw up... i did a little bit..but not enough to make me happy.. what's happening...........

Eating disorders take on many forms. You don't have to be skin and bones to be anorexic or bulimic. The website the previous poster posted is very helpful, please take a look at it. It sounds like you have some serious stuff going on. I would definitely seek help. I'm 34 and have been in treatment for over two years. I've been anorexic, bulimic, and a compulsive overeater since childhood. Believe me, I wish I would have gotten help way sooner.

 
Old 05-30-2005, 05:11 AM   #6
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

It does sound like the start of an eating disorder. If I were you I would get help before it gets worse. Ed's can take over your life so easily. Just because you eat doesn't mean anything. I went into a treatment center for anorexia almost 3 years ago.I was in complete denial about being anorexic for weeks while i was there. I thought I couldn't be anorexic because I eat every meal. However my "meals" were around 200 calories and I was exercising daily. I also didn't believe I had an eating disorder because i thought that I was just eating healthy. I think I thought that because that is how my ED started. I was watching what I ate, count out junk food and only ate what I thought was healthy. Then it all spiraled out of control.
I would get help now!

 
Old 05-30-2005, 07:45 AM   #7
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

It is definately something to be worried about....having any sort of un-natural obsession with food could consitute an eating disorder in my mind. i agree with the other posts, just b/c you do eat the little food that you do, and dont look deathly ill doesnt mean a thing. in the depths of my ana struggle i still looked okay, but i was below a healthy weight, and even further below the natrual shape my body takes on. Heres something for you to think about --> Eating disorders are not about food. They are caused by something else....whether it be your need for control, extreme need for acceptence, a coping mechanism etc. But it is alwyas something else then just the food....think about that, and think about what could have triggered your obesession. Also, seeing a counsellor or therapist just to talk would do a load of good. Its hard to o through everyday tihnking about food and what to eat and what not to, and talking to someone can help alot. Good luck, and keep posting.

 
Old 05-30-2005, 04:24 PM   #8
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

Yesterday all I ate was special K and I went downtairs and ate 2 strawberries and I felt so guilty for eating... so guilty.. I felt guilty for eating the little bit of special K that I did and then I ate some strawberries, only 2 and I about freaked out.. it was so bad that I wanted to cut myself.... I exercised afterwards of course, but then I got so tired after only 40 minutes... I guess its from not getting enough nutrients or whatever.. but then today I ate an even smaller amount of special k, with nothing like milk or sugar of course, and I felt bad for eating.. I didn't eat lunch, and I'm definitly not eating dinner, and if I do end up eating anything ill probably try to throw up.. that's my plan for today.. I have to keep myself busy so i wont eat. I used to punish myself for eating by cutting myself, but now I dont even do that, I just don't eat.... I did punish myself yesterday though... I started hitting myself really hard with this metal thing on my side and now I have a big bruise on my hip.. I can't eat... and I can't tell anyone.. I just.. can't.. I do'nt know how.. the one person that I do trust the most in this world, my best friend... I could tell her I guess, but it would be hard.. I've been trying to tell her for about 2 months now, when it first started, but now its getting worse.. From what you guys said though, it doens't sound like I have an eating disorder, so maybe its nothing to worry about.. maybe i'm fine.. I mean, I really do'nt think i have an eating disorder.. I deserve this anyways..

 
Old 05-30-2005, 05:46 PM   #9
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Exclamation Re: What actually is Anorexia?

Quote:
Originally Posted by troubled_teen12
Yesterday all I ate was special K and I went downtairs and ate 2 strawberries and I felt so guilty for eating... so guilty.. I felt guilty for eating the little bit of special K that I did and then I ate some strawberries, only 2 and I about freaked out.. it was so bad that I wanted to cut myself.... I exercised afterwards of course, but then I got so tired after only 40 minutes... I guess its from not getting enough nutrients or whatever.. but then today I ate an even smaller amount of special k, with nothing like milk or sugar of course, and I felt bad for eating.. I didn't eat lunch, and I'm definitly not eating dinner, and if I do end up eating anything ill probably try to throw up.. that's my plan for today.. I have to keep myself busy so i wont eat. I used to punish myself for eating by cutting myself, but now I dont even do that, I just don't eat.... I did punish myself yesterday though... I started hitting myself really hard with this metal thing on my side and now I have a big bruise on my hip.. I can't eat... and I can't tell anyone.. I just.. can't.. I do'nt know how.. the one person that I do trust the most in this world, my best friend... I could tell her I guess, but it would be hard.. I've been trying to tell her for about 2 months now, when it first started, but now its getting worse.. From what you guys said though, it doens't sound like I have an eating disorder, so maybe its nothing to worry about.. maybe i'm fine.. I mean, I really do'nt think i have an eating disorder.. I deserve this anyways..
The mere fact that you're saying you deserve to treat yourself this way says that you have a serious problem (regardless of what it is!), please get yourself some help now. No one deserves to be treated in such a way. A professional won't judge you, if that's what you're worried about. It's their job to listen, not judge. Seeing someone who has experience in these areas is vital. It would also be even better if you could find someone with personal experience. As for the self-injury things you describe, they often go hand-and-hand with eating disorders, especially anorexia. There've been many, many times I hit myself in the head with my hand repeatedly to the point of having a concussion. Eating disorders in and of themselves are self-injurious. Don't minimize your problem, it will only make it worse, believe me.

 
Old 06-01-2005, 04:03 PM   #10
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

I'm just so scared... what do I do? I know I should tell someone..but.. yesterday during my exam (i know that's bad.. but i can't even concentrate in school anymore) i was thinking about my problem, and I was ilke maybe if I tell my mom first, maybe she could try to help me, adn then maybe I could go see someone to make this better... but then, when it was time to go home from school I had talked myself out of it....it's like i'm trying to stop this on my own, and I think in my head, okay i'll eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner today! So, in my mood for getting over this I eat lunch or something, but then by dinner time I am feeling so guilty for eating, that I don't eat at all for the rest of the day... it's just so complicating! I don't know what's wrong with me... sometimes I want to fix it and sometimes I don't.....*sighs*... I even tried talking to a friend who used to have an eating disorde,r I don't know if I shoudl try to talk to her first maybe.. she's my best friend and I trust her most in this whole entire world.. this is.. i'm just so scared...

 
Old 06-01-2005, 09:45 PM   #11
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

Quote:
Originally Posted by troubled_teen12
I'm just so scared... what do I do? I know I should tell someone..but.. yesterday during my exam (i know that's bad.. but i can't even concentrate in school anymore) i was thinking about my problem, and I was ilke maybe if I tell my mom first, maybe she could try to help me, adn then maybe I could go see someone to make this better... but then, when it was time to go home from school I had talked myself out of it....it's like i'm trying to stop this on my own, and I think in my head, okay i'll eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner today! So, in my mood for getting over this I eat lunch or something, but then by dinner time I am feeling so guilty for eating, that I don't eat at all for the rest of the day... it's just so complicating! I don't know what's wrong with me... sometimes I want to fix it and sometimes I don't.....*sighs*... I even tried talking to a friend who used to have an eating disorde,r I don't know if I shoudl try to talk to her first maybe.. she's my best friend and I trust her most in this whole entire world.. this is.. i'm just so scared...
It's very difficult to stop it on your own when you have this mean ***** constantly in your head bugging you and won't leave you alone, trust me I know. I'm sure a lot of other folks on here know exactly what I'm talking about. Talking to your best friend is a really good place to start. Maybe she could even recommend someone for you to see? My best friend is bulimic, and even though most of my struggles (lately anyway) have been with anorexia instead of bulimia, it's nice to have someone to talk to who'll just listen and not judge and can actually understand what I'm going through. Remember, isolation only makes the ED stronger, it feeds off it. Tell someone about it that you can trust.

Last edited by kittywitty; 06-01-2005 at 09:47 PM.

 
Old 06-03-2005, 01:25 PM   #12
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I told my best friend yesterday at school. I had been starving myself that day, and she was telling me how only I could stop this, and that I should try to stop it on my own, and that she wouldn't tell anyone, and that she'd be here for me. She told me to try to eat more and try to get better, and .. I dunno.. it really hit me, and i realized how much she cared. So, when I came home I decided to eat something to try to get better. I ate something, and I guess since I didn't relaly eat the day before, and I hadn't ate all day I just like ate a lot I guess for that day.. I had 900 calories yesterday and I felt so bad.. I was in the bathroom trying to make myself throw up for the longest time but I just couldn't... so instead I cut myself 11 times to punish myself for eating too much.....I don't know what came over me yesterday. I do'nt know if its because I was on my period or something, and I heard that that makes you more hungry, but I was just like... I dunno.. So today, I had this plan for not eating all day long to make up for yesterday, but I had exams and my mom practically forced me to eat breakfast..ugh.. and I talked to my friend some more and when I told her about tyring ot throw up and how I felt so bad, I could tell it was hurting her and I promised her that I would try to eat today, so I did.. I've had......600 calories today, and agian.. I feel so guilty.. guilty enough to go make myself throw up, but I just can't... I don't know if its a mental block or something.. so hopefully i'll exercise for like an hour or more to try to burn it off so I wont get fat... but I just dont know.. I hate this...... i hate it i hate it..... I don't know if its getting better or not.. physcologically, no......but.. god... why did I have to promise her I would eat.. hopefully tomorrow I'll be too busy to eat.. yea.. I'll keep myself busy so I wont have to.....I'm not eating for the rest of the night either... i'm going to get even fatter at the rate I'm going.. i hate being fat....

 
Old 06-03-2005, 01:52 PM   #13
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

Hey, just wondering....whats your height and your weight, and how old are you.
Im going through a similar thing though I dont cut myself, I know how stressful it can be tho! today I have only eaten 346 cals.... really I have eaten about 650 but I burned alot doing exercise. Ive now told some of my friends, thank god, and they are really surportive about the whole thing as Im sure your friends seem to be as well. The most calorie intake for a women is 2000 cals. I dont mean for you to try and eat that many, but just so you see eating 900 or 600 cals isnt that bad at all, its prob even less then you should be eating. I also cant make my self throw up ive tried and tried but I cant so I cant help u there I aint gotta clue but I think mayb because I dont eat enough I dont have anything to throw up :s
As im in the same situation (sorta) as you, I dont feel I have the right to tell you its really really bad and stuff like that because its easier to say it then to attually do it, I mean I know its bad as im sure you do but just saying it prob wont make you stop. Because if I say it to myself ill just end up starving the next day any way.
Though also I do know, even if I dont eat all day, I force myself at least to have breakfast, even if it is just a smoothie, honestly I know for a fact that breakfast starts off you matabolism so that if you eat anything in the day it helps digestion flow better so you wont put on as much weight if you do end up eating in the day, honestly trust me on that!!!
I also have my exams at school at the mo and my mum is always on my back for not eating I hate it!
Tho your friend is just worried about you, as any friend would be. I cant say much more because I dont really get it myself and I dont really know.
But im here for you im going through it all as well.
:s :s :s
Hanniex

 
Old 06-04-2005, 09:32 AM   #14
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

I'm 16, 5'5" and around 119-120 lbs currently. Wow, so you understand what I'm going through? It's just so complicating.. Sometimes, when i'm in the "eating mood" i try to eat more because I know that later in the day I will be in the "starve myself" mood.. but then, I feel so bad for eating all of the time. Today i've had about 400 calories before exercising and I feel like a hippo.. I'm gonna go exercise soon to try to burn it off.... gosh I'm such a pig...

When you're on your period can it make you more hungry, or more likely to eat more? Because it feels like since i've got on mine I haven't like.. been hungry, but I've hate like moods where I actually do eat, and I don't know why. Usually I just don't want to eat like at all but.. I dunno.. it's wierd.. I do'nt know if I want to stop.. that's my problem. I've been practically forcing myself to eat because I don't want to lose my friends, but.. gosh.. yesterday I had 700 calories (before exercing, about 200 after exercising) and I felt terrible.....sometimes I know what i'm feeling isn't normal, but other times I'm just like, this is okay... it's so wierd.. like I'm so moody...maybe its ... I dunno.. Why do I feel bad for eating? I guess my eating is getting better, .... last week I was eating around 200-400 calories before excercising then exercising for over an hour. So I guess I"m improving a little bit, but... I'm just so scared of being fat....

 
Old 06-05-2005, 07:38 AM   #15
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Re: What actually is Anorexia?

Hey, your BMI (you might already know) is 19.8 - 20. Apperantly you dont want to be under 18.5 because that is underweight. Though it changes with some people depending on matabolism and stuff and also doctors can think differently, they normally say 20-22 should be the minimum.
I'm 16 as well, 5ft3 and weigh 92lbs, tho I have always had a low weight because I have a high matabolism, I think my highest weight was about 99lbs last feb.
Ummm, I'm not sure about the whole peroid thing, I know that I get really boated during a peroid and that can sometimes stop me eating more then I normally would because I feel alot fatter. But i'm due my period tomorrow....(hopefully) so i'll keep ya updated on how I feel.
I'm sure your friends, how ever much you hurt them through this, will always stick by you know matter what. Sometimes I feel my friends looking at me and bitching and crap like that, but I think thats mostly me being paranoid about what others think. Because now I have told my friends about it all they are very worried though very surportive at the same time. I dont know your friends though I really dont think you will loose them.
At school I have 2 groups of friends, one group I would say I 'normally' hang around with more and would tell them anything. But in this situation I have found them more unsurportive and bitchy and I find myself worried to tell them because I dont know what they'll think. Which is why I told my other group of friends about this problem. I think that if someone doesn't like me or what im doing then that's there problem and you can see really who your friends are. Your true friends wont leave you how ever bad it becomes, they will just care for you, worry for you, and hope you get better.

Sometimes I go to bed at night and think, 'im being silly about the whole thing, i will get up tomorrow and not worry about what I eat and forget the whole thing' But I can't. Its one of life's crueltys. I really cant stop not thinking about it. Even if I think about not eating, sometimes I do eat but then I feel so bad when I go to bed at night and then end up straving the next day.
I say to myslef that I can stop anytime I want, and I thought that I could but I now realise I can't.

I'm 16 exactly like you....are you in the UK....doing your GCSE's? I am, and I find it soooo hard to consentrate and get consently tierd. Do you?

How do you exercise?

I am here to help i knw what its like.
Hannie xxx

 
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