Thanks for your replies guys
I looked it up, and I think you are right Suzanne, it means I 'fit' in some of the anorexic criteria, but not all (for instance, with me, I am still menstruating). It was a quite strange 'diagnoses' for me though, because I've just been trying to recover from my bulimia and stop the binging/purging cycle. But to achieve this I have been following a meal plan, and the only foods I am comfortable with eating are very low in fat and sugar. This means that weight loss was a consequence, rather than the ultimate aim, although I cannot deny I was very satisfied this was happening
. And I am now terified of gaining weight
Amy, I can completely empathise! The ritualized eating you describe is exactly what I do. I am very careful with the quantities, and obviously types of food I eat, also at what time I eat, and I have to eat extremely slowly (usually my meals last 45 mins and then I stay sat for an extra 15mins to help diggest). I cannot really go to other people's houses or restaurants, because I feel out of control if I'm not the one cooking the food.
Are you from the UK Suzanne? Because I am, but I guess procedures vary depending on the country... It took about 5 months from the time I was refered to my first appointment with the NHS eating disorders unit! Fortunately in that time, I have been getting loads of support from my sister and a couple of friends, self help books, and Overeaters Anonymous (the best support I've ever come accross, I thoroughly recommend them!). The first appointment I found really stressful, and I would suggest if you have someone close supporting you to go along with you. It involved 3 hours of intense questioning; it was very draining! The worst part for me was being weighed... In my next appointment, they weighed me again and were comparing the weights, and I found that extremely triggering and unhelpful. When I went for my third appointment my sis came with me, so I felt less nervous, and I voiced how triggering it had been and how it had really messed up my mind and set me back in my recovery, and told them I didn't want to be weighed again! Fortunately, because I am 'atypical' anorexic, I think they don't have
to monitor my weight/eating too closely so they didn't push it (I'm only a little underweight). So they have put me on a waiting list for 1 to 1 therapy to explore why I need so many ritual and control over my eating etc. I think this will be really helpful, so I'm grateful, but I must say my main support still comes from outside the NHS, and without that I don't know where I'd be right now!