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Old 07-05-2005, 10:35 PM   #1
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luv2travelgirl HB User
Finally told boyfriend about eating disorder and he acts like its nothing!!!!!!!

I finally confronted my boyfriend about my eating disorder. I told him I had something important to get off my chest. I told him that I force myself to throw up a lot or sometimes I won't eat for a few days straight. Well all he said after I told him was "thats it...that's what you wanted to tell me. That's gross I don't know why you do that". He said he would talk to me about it tomorrow. Well he never brought it up again and everytime I try bring it up and try to talk to him about it he acts like its nothing and just shrugs it off and changes the subject. I haven't told anyone about my eating disorder and when I finally get the courage to tell someone he acts like he don't care that much about it and its normal just because i guess he knew people who did that in the past. I feel sooo hurt about it because I was totally expecting him to be there for me and be supportive and act like he cared at least a bit about it. Now I don't know what to do *sigh*

 
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Old 07-06-2005, 06:50 AM   #2
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Anterrabae HB User
Re: Finally told boyfriend about eating disorder and he acts like its nothing!!!!!!!

Hey girl.. my heart goes out to you. It's a very difficult thing, telling people we care about that we have an eating disorder. Heh, I think it's even harder telling a boy. I don't think boys really have any idea the pressure we face, as girls, to have the "perfect body". They can just roll out of bed, put on baggie clothes, eat a gigantic breakfast and not feel the slightest bit self-conscious about their bodies. Well anyways.. it may not be that your boyfriend doesn't care about your ED. I think it's probably more likely that he just doesn't know what to say about it. He doesn't know if what he says would help or hurt or sound stupid.. and most likely he really doesn't understand. Most people who haven't ever had an eating problem will not understand. I told my boyfriend months ago.. but it's still not something we discuss that often. And then sometimes if we're out and I don't want to eat dinner or whatever he still asks, "geez, what is *wrong* with you?" uh.. you *know* what is wrong with me, moron! Heh, really.. I know that he loves me, but he just doesn't know what to do with my ED. Maybe it's the same way for your boyfriend. Maybe you could him how you feel, that it would really mean a lot to you and would help you if you could talk about it openly with him.

 
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Old 07-06-2005, 08:41 AM   #3
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Chachade HB User
Re: Finally told boyfriend about eating disorder and he acts like its nothing!!!!!!!

I'm really sorry to hear that your boyfriend wasn't very supportive. I think Anterrabae is right, he probably doesn't understand it and isn't sure what to say and men also don't understand the pressure on women in society to look a certain way. It's easier in situations like that for them not to say anything. When I told my husband (then boyfriend) about my bingeing he basically gave me some advice about eating more calories and fat on a regular basis and why do I care so much about how much I weigh when he'll always love me no matter what and that was the end of it. This coming from a man who is naturally thin and can have a snack of a small spoonful of peanut butter and half a glass of milk and call it good. Of course I would freak out thinking about all of the fat in a spoonful of peanut butter which would just cause a binge. Anyway, I think you will see that a lot of people on this message board can really identify with you and can offer a lot of moral support.

 
Old 07-06-2005, 10:54 AM   #4
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SammyT HB User
Re: Finally told boyfriend about eating disorder and he acts like its nothing!!!!!!!

o sweetie. im so sorry to hear that. im sorry, he seems like a jerk. Ug boys...they just dont get it!! even if he didnt get it a good bf would be supportive and would wanna talk about it. frig this is ur health we're talking about here, and all he can think of is "thats it?" how pathetic is that! now im not saying he has to be a god and help and whatnot, but the least he can do is give u a hug..show sum luvin. lol. i mean, jeez... u say he the only person u told? well dont get discouraged..u MUST tell someone else. tell ur doctor or ur rents. im shure they will help and understand.

i really wanna give u a hug. if i told someone and they were like "thats it?" id smack em in the face. im sorry but its so true.

keep in touch hun! we are all here together.

 
Old 07-06-2005, 04:40 PM   #5
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KaraKaraKara HB User
Re: Finally told boyfriend about eating disorder and he acts like its nothing!!!!!!!

I am about 99% sure of what is going on here. I have a really good friend who has anorexia, and her b/f was a little "disturbed" about it as well. The truth is, he is terrified for you. He is NOT a jerk, he probably knows a little something about eating disorders, and can't imagine why you (his girl who he loves?) has this problem... he probably knows that it is a problem, and that there isn't much he can do about it. Hed probably just as well put it out of his head. He is probably really scared for you, and the only way he can keep it together is by ignoring the fact that it is a fact. My advice, DON'T BRING IT UP... Its buggin the guy, and i'd be willing to bet that if you give it a little while, he'll try to talk to you about it. See how it goes.

 
Old 07-06-2005, 04:44 PM   #6
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maggie043 HB User
Re: Finally told boyfriend about eating disorder and he acts like its nothing!!!!!!!

I agree he is probably scared out of his mind because he doesn't know WHAT TO DO - sad because we with ED don't know what to do either. When you think about some of what we do to make ED happy, it is well kind of gross. Give it and him some time and see what happens......

 
Old 07-06-2005, 05:14 PM   #7
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SammyT HB User
Re: Finally told boyfriend about eating disorder and he acts like its nothing!!!!!!!

yea, i take what i sed back...sorry hun. my bf i guess when he found out he wasnt all like "o are u okay? r u okay?" he just sed "o, well as long as ur geting better" or w/e. kara and maggie are SOO rite.

 
Old 07-06-2005, 10:18 PM   #8
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Join Date: Feb 2004
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Quencher HB User
Re: Finally told boyfriend about eating disorder and he acts like its nothing!!!!!!!

When I first told my teacher about my ED.. I first thought she didn't care, either. She seemed to have taken everything slightly. "It's NORMAL." "Oh, it's not a big deal." "I think you're exaggerating."

I honestly thought she didn't care, and it broke my heart for WEEKS...... until I wrote a letter confronting her and telling her how I felt about her reaction. Turns out-- she was just so surprised.. and didn't know what to say. She has been very surpportive of me ever since, tho.

My point is, this may be the same reason your boyfriend isn't saying anything about it, either. Just a hunch, so, you should try to confront him, I guess. Your decision to make.
__________________
Eschew obfuscation.

 
Old 07-06-2005, 11:14 PM   #9
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liza2 HB User
Re: Finally told boyfriend about eating disorder and he acts like its nothing!!!!!!!

Im not saying that the girls above aren't right, but i also think there is a chance that he really just doesnt understand. This guy i was seeing would always joke about it after i told him (and in front of people too!) I was so upset that i totally blew up one night and broke it off. I realized later that i shouldnt have gotten so mad about it because he just simply did not have any knowledge of EDs and thought of them as just a stage most girls go through, (i am still happy that i broke it off though because he was a jerk anyways!) I remember one of my guy friends told me he had a problem with alcohol and i thought he was just joking around because he was a college student and every college student has gone a little overboard at sometime, but this was something that he coudlnt control and after informing myself more about his situation, i realized that it was a problem and he needed my support. Im sorry you have to go through this and if you need to talk more or need more advise you kinow where to come! Hope this helps you out!
liza

 
Old 07-07-2005, 10:19 AM   #10
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SammyT HB User
Re: Finally told boyfriend about eating disorder and he acts like its nothing!!!!!!!

Well, we all have our own opinions..so i guess in order to find out the "truth" is yha talk to him about it. and if he refuses, well try again and again and again until u get somehting out of it.

 
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