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Old 07-14-2005, 09:23 AM   #1
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PurpleCat2 HB User
obsessively rigid eating routine

Hi guys, how you doin
For those of you who don't know me, I've been trying to recover from bulimia for the past 6 months. With the support of the OA Fellowship (overeaters anonymous), I've been able to stick to a 3 meals a day eating plan and am being freed from my obsession with food.
However...
I'm now having to deal with a new situation, whereby I'm still loosing the weight and am becoming underweight. My meal plan is very low in calories because it's what had given me a sense of security, and I eat more or less the same thing at specific times each day. It's very rigid, basically!! But because it's given me freedom from binging, I hang on to my routine like a precious stone, and am just too afraid to change it in any way in case it will make me gain weight. It's not that I want to lose weight, but I don't want to gain! I know it's not logical, cos say last week I was happy with staying at my weight then, but now that this week I way 1 kg less, I still freak out about putting on weight, even if it means going back to last week's weight. It's not logical I know, but I can't reason myself out of it!
Can anyone here relate or offer any suggestions? I don't want to go the anorexia route, but I feel like I'm getting caught into a vicious circle
__________________
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:10 AM   #2
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jade112 HB User
Re: obsessively rigid eating routine

Hey purplecat-

I hear what your saying. I am not bulimic but I am tring to be in recovery from ana. It is SOOOO tuff. I know what you mean by eating by routine and being to afraid to change it. I eat bascially the same foods ALL the time, I call them my "safety foods"

Anyway to try and answer your question, I would try to start out by makeing VERY small changes. For example if you eat oatmeal every morn try something equal in calories like cottage cheese with some fruit or ww toast with jam or lite cream cheese. Just make the switches small and pretty equal in calories and you should be ok.
Maybe try substituting different veggies, fruits, sauces, or even ways of cooking or preparing your meals just to change the flavor or look of your rigid diet foods with out shocking or scaring your self too much. Then gradually you can completly vary all of your meals and still be just fine.

Congrats on all of your progress, it is an inspiration to hear when one of yall are doing so well!!!!! It real is you can do this - KEEP it up - your doing GREAT!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
- Jade

 
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:37 AM   #3
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Jonistyle1 HB User
Re: obsessively rigid eating routine

i don't really have any advice, but i just wanted to tell you that i'm going through the exact same thing right now. i'm doing habitual, planned, day in day out EXACTLY the same meals, and (since i'm just starting to get over the binging) i'm still hoping to lose a little weight. but then i'm worried i'll lose too much and want to stay too skinny. or else i'll never be able to break from the same breakfasts and lunches ever! i don't have anything good to suggest, but I'm here for you!

 
Old 07-14-2005, 01:30 PM   #4
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zeroprophecy9 HB User
Re: obsessively rigid eating routine

I am so with you on this one. I am trying to recover from anorexia and have the same security wiht the routine as you do. I am trying to make small changes everyday. For instance, I eat will eat something that is equivalent to what I usually eat or I will switch my lunch and dinner meals. It's small, and it's still the same food, but it at least gets me out of same exact routine. Good luck
-morgan

 
Old 07-14-2005, 04:28 PM   #5
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: kentucky
Posts: 31
sha~sha HB User
Re: obsessively rigid eating routine

Quote:
Originally Posted by PurpleCat2
Hi guys, how you doin
For those of you who don't know me, I've been trying to recover from bulimia for the past 6 months. With the support of the OA Fellowship (overeaters anonymous), I've been able to stick to a 3 meals a day eating plan and am being freed from my obsession with food.
However...
I'm now having to deal with a new situation, whereby I'm still loosing the weight and am becoming underweight. My meal plan is very low in calories because it's what had given me a sense of security, and I eat more or less the same thing at specific times each day. It's very rigid, basically!! But because it's given me freedom from binging, I hang on to my routine like a precious stone, and am just too afraid to change it in any way in case it will make me gain weight. It's not that I want to lose weight, but I don't want to gain! I know it's not logical, cos say last week I was happy with staying at my weight then, but now that this week I way 1 kg less, I still freak out about putting on weight, even if it means going back to last week's weight. It's not logical I know, but I can't reason myself out of it!
Can anyone here relate or offer any suggestions? I don't want to go the anorexia route, but I feel like I'm getting caught into a vicious circle
hey i have the same problem! while i was ''sick'' i am/was diagnosed or called borderline anorexic well anyway i developed specific times to eat-like i'll eat breakfast at 8:30 then lunch at 2:00 a snack before i run at 4:30 and then eat dinner at 8:00 it kinda drives me crazy because used to i never really had a routine-i would just eat when i was hungry and i guess its a blessing and a curse because i can get kinda stressed if i have to go off of my routine-i am trying to become less strict but your right-its like a security blanket! no you don't want to be anorexic! try to not go that route for YOUR own good!

 
Old 07-15-2005, 09:36 AM   #6
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PurpleCat2 HB User
Re: obsessively rigid eating routine

Thanks so much for your replies Jade, Jonistyle, zeroprophecy and sha~sha; you guys really helped

Thanks for your advice Jade, it's really helpful and I will try to follow it . Although I started with bulimia, I now have 'atypical anorexia' (according to the doctor...); however I don't have a desire to loose weight, I'm just afraid of putting it on, and of eating any fatty/sugary foods as they scare me (I'm scared I could get out of control and binge like I used to in the bulimia). But this obvioulsy means I keep loosing weight which is not good . I guess I have to increase my calorie intake, but that's so scary, cos I feel so secure in my present routine! I think you are right though, I have to take a baby step at a time; and starting with varying the types of foods I eat (without necessarily increasing calories) is a good place to start to try and feel more confident stepping out of what I am used to and secure with. Thanks so much for taking the time to reply and for your suggestions . How are you doing?
Hey there Jonistyle, zeroprophecy and sha~sha Thanks for sharing your struggle with me, it sounds like we're all in the same boat here and we can encourage each other on. I think it's great that we are all sticking to a meal plan, cos it definitely is a big step toward recovery. I think the rigid routine is an automatic consequence of this, and we have to be brave to break out of it to find complete freedom. Jade and zeroprophecy's suggestions seem really good. For me I think the key is to take it really slowly and make just very small changes at a time, then it's a bit less stressful and scary
Hope you're all doing ok girlies, take good care and do let me know how you get along
__________________
"Let your heart guide you. It whispers so listen carefully."

 
Old 07-15-2005, 10:45 AM   #7
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jade112 HB User
Re: obsessively rigid eating routine

No problem and I am happy to help or at least try Just take it slow and you will be just fine you really are doing GREAT!! I agree with you about the sugary foods I am so afraid to get out of control with them as well, weird right.

I am doing OK, thanks so much for asking. I recently returned from a vacation and I didnt even realize that I totally slipped until I got back, no good huh. I was doing pretty great and then its like I loose a little weight for the trip and it just snowballs and the next thing I know.... I am sick again. Its so frustrating!!! But now that I am back I am working real hard to get back on track and put some weight on so we'll see, at least I caught myself b/f I became tooo sick so I guess thats a plus.
I cant seem to fix it but I can catch it before it gets too out of control.

So right now I am on "a rigid eating routine" so I can understand how hard you are trying and how scary it is but I know that we can totally do this. Hang in there & keep me posted

xoxoxoxxoxooxo
- Jade

 
Old 07-18-2005, 11:20 AM   #8
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Posts: 62
PurpleCat2 HB User
Re: obsessively rigid eating routine

Hey Jade I can totally empathise, it's so hard to maintain recovery whilst on vacation. The last time I went on holiday to Venice, I lost quite a lot of weight without even wanting to, just because everything is so different it kind of makes you loose your bearings, especially when you have a set routine you usually stick to. But please don't get discouraged, because as you said you were doing great, and a little slip doesn't have to knock you down, you can pick yourself back up and you will become stronger from the experience. I really hope you can get back on track, please let me know how you get along! It sounds like you are really motivated in your recovery, and that is so great, please keep working at it. It's ups and downs, but it's so worth it!!
Thanks so much for your encouragement, you really cheered me up
Take care
__________________
"Let your heart guide you. It whispers so listen carefully."

 
Old 07-18-2005, 11:52 AM   #9
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SammyT HB User
Re: obsessively rigid eating routine

Hey Purplecat!! Hows it goin?? its been a while since i heard from yah! well, first off, im glad ur not binging...thats an awesome and impressive start...Atta gurl! but im sorry to hear ur now stuck on a very rigid "meal plan" for urself. i kno what u mean..i went thru the same thing. all id eat was 2 peices of ww toast with very little jelly, a half a sanwhich with a tomato. lettuce and pickle with a ornage juice box for lunch, and id eat very very very little supper to keep me from purging. and if i ate too much, well...it went downhill. all id eat for snacks was fruit fruit and more fruit! its CaRazy.

im Waayy better now. i have purges here and there but i havent binged in forever and i am eating more cals. we all have our ups and downs ur so rite.

we're in this togetehr!! take care ladies

 
Old 07-19-2005, 01:24 AM   #10
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PurpleCat2 HB User
Re: obsessively rigid eating routine

Hey Sammy you're such a sweetheart, it's great to hear from you!!! I'm so glad you are doing so much better, and that you sound so much happier It also gives me hope in my recovery, thanks for your encouragement!
It is such an amazing feeling to be free from binging, and from obsessing 24/7 about food! Hopefully, with each little step at a time I can move on to a less rigid routine. It is so great to have these boards and all you guys support, it means the world to me; I know I could never have gotten here without all your love, understanding and encouragement .
__________________
"Let your heart guide you. It whispers so listen carefully."

 
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