Losing my Therapist of 3 1/2 years!!!! - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

tball · 11-03-2005, 10:12 PM

I just found out last week that my therapist that I have had for 3.5 years is taking time off to spend more time with her kids. I can appreciate that. Especially since I'm a single mom with 2 little girls (8 & 4.5). But, I feel like my insides are being ripped out. She has literally saved my life twice. I have gone through hell with her..... 3 summers of treatment with intensive therapy. She has found out more about me than I swore anyone would ever know, and even some I had hidden from myself. Sometimes the weeks are soooo horrible and the food stuff is soooo out of control that the only thing I can hang on to is that I'll be seeing her in a couple of days and she will understand everything. She is a recovered bulimic and we are about the same age and have similiar things in common. So, I know she truly relates and understands. Now I'm not going to have that, and she wants me to go to someone else she has picked out. I start crying every time I think about it. I'm on the verge of losing my 3rd teaching job because of this ..... disease and this time of the year my mood goes in the ditch. I am sooooo scared and feel sooo alone and I sure as hell don't want to work with someone else. I mean it took me 3.5 years to work up to tell HER the sh t I did. Now I'm just suppose to walk into this other person and act like everything is all cool? I really feel like I'm losing more than a therapist. Can anyone relate?????

tball

firewtr38 · 11-04-2005, 05:00 AM

Hi there
I just want you to know that I totally hear you! Thankfully, out of the two therapists I've had I terminated with one at the agreement of both of us and then the one I have now I still see. But I do know that if I was in your position with my current therapist I would feel exactly the same way. I know how attached I am to my therapist and how wonderful she is and how much she's helped. So I know that if she decided to leave or something like that I'd be devestated. Have you talked to her about it in therapy? You need to be able to process it.
Believe me I wouldn't want to go to someone new either. But maybe if she picked this person out she really thought about who would be a good fit for you. I know it's not the same but it's a thought.
God I totally can understand your reaction! I always get paranoid that my therapist is going to like retire or move or something. It's amazing how attached we get to certain people. But I'm sure that's because of the level of "intimacy" we share with that person. All the details of our lives.
It's really hard. Hang in there and try to really talk to her about it. How long before she leaves?

Lauren

tball · 11-04-2005, 07:06 AM

She wants to meet with me on Tues. to go over my 20 zillion pages I written in my journal about all of this. Then we have a meeting scheduled with this other person the next Monday (all of us together). She and I will meet once more after that to decide what I'm going to do. Then she said she would "transition" me. Whatever the hell that means. I got online last night and looked up this other therapist. She is soooo not my type. She looks like she should be my grandmother and her website is all this hoakie crap like "feel great in 10 days"... "How not to feel terrible"....so on and so on. I can't believe my T even picked this one for me. I was so ANGRY last night all I did was write in my journal, cry, eat, purge, cry, cry, and cry!!!! This sounds so wrong but, this hurts about as bad as my divorce did. I am not going to work today. It's impossible!!! I can't go to that other broad!!!!!!! I feel so d--- helpless about this whole situation and I really hate it.
tabll.

LiLKaYlaBaBii · 01-18-2006, 05:51 AM

You might feel that you are losing more then just a therapist because you may think she's your best friend since she know's more stuff about you. Maybe you two can exchange phone number's, and e-mail's and maybe you can invite her over and talk during the day or something. Just keep in touch with her and continue to tell her about your problem's and maybe everything will be alright in the end.

ivy2002 · 01-23-2006, 11:38 AM

im a bit late but thought i would right any way..i can understand what your going through..over the summer things went haywire at the mental health place i used to go to and my doc told me she might not be able to see me again becuase in a sense she was losing her job..all the docs where but that didnt make me feel better about it at all and i was so mad at her because ive been seeing her for about 4 years now maybe a bit more...i knew the reasons behind it but i still left like she was betraying my trust somehow and that it was all her fault etc etc..but it worked out and after a break..a bit longer than she would have liked im still with her but at a different place...i know this is a bit different than what you are going through and as hard as it is leaving your doc you will get through it..

take care of yourself