It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-22-2005, 12:58 PM   #1
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 430
NatashaW HB User
Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

Anyone?? Where'd you all go???

 
Old 11-22-2005, 04:17 PM   #2
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Bristol, Connecticut
Posts: 306
firewtr38 HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

Hey Natasha, I'm still here! I was wondering where everyone else is too. I know I posted not too long ago and Maggie responded. But haven't heard from anyone else. Don't know what that's all about. Hope everyone is doing ok. Please write and let us know if you're still out there!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-23-2005, 06:11 AM   #3
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: England
Posts: 313
juicy*lucy HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

Hey there,

I don't know how 'original' I am, I first posted here about 18 months ago. I really hope everyone's doing okay - I found I was getting so wrapped up in my eating disorder by posting so often and spending so much time here, I thought maybe it was time for a breather.

I think about the people I met on these boards a lot though, and I really hope everyone's doing okay.

J*L

 
Old 11-23-2005, 06:58 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 524
Jonistyle2 HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

yeah, i'm still here too. we have to all keep chatting . . . i miss you girls! i check everyday but there haven't been a ton of new posts and i guess i haven't had much to say myself. but yeah, i'm still here!

 
Old 11-23-2005, 11:16 AM   #5
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 430
NatashaW HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

Glad to hear from you girls!! I was getting a little worried..what about snitter and BKFree?? They were the main "posters" and now they are gone...that worries me...I hope nothing has happened.
I haven't had a whole lot to say about myself, either...I am on day 8 of non-purging, though!! Yipee!! I don't even want to do it,either. I still "dream" about binge foods but the idea of actually binging and purging doesn't appeal to me. This will by my first bulimia free Thanksgiving in SEVEN YEARS...that is hard to believe. My CFS is kickin' my butt and that is the main reason I finally decided to get control of my bulimia....

 
Old 11-24-2005, 05:28 PM   #6
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Utah
Posts: 373
maggie043 HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

hi all - still alive. Ive been reading but not posting mostly b/c some of the posts alarm me so I try not to get involved, fear of making my own ED worse mostly. Too many details for me to cope with, "Im doing this or that but I am recovering", maybe it is selfish of my to want people to not post they are throwing up and starving so any way I am just lose it my ED craziness, hope you are all hanging in there. I think of you often and wish you the best

 
Old 11-25-2005, 03:14 PM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 200
cryingskies HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

Hi everyone. I haven't been around in a really long time. I'm sorry for that. I dont know in a way I just kind of felt that everyday I was on here and it is a wonderful place and it helps a lot, but I just felt like I didnt want to get better the same as everyone else did. And I felt like in the end I would be more of a harm or bother than a help so I decided to just try to get myself together some. I've been working really hard. I have not seen a scale in a really long time so I dont know how much weight I have gained, but I know I have been gaining, not so much that I see it in my stomach but that my face is filling out and not looking like a skeleton and I dont see my ribs anymore. I am really happy about my progress. I wish it was easier but dont we all. I fall and stumble as we all do, but I am trying my best. I dont want to end up dying at a young age of a heartattack or some other ana related cause that I could have prevented. So hopefully my will to overcome this will stay strong......I havent even been on my computer for a couple weeks, I'm so busy with work that its hard to do everything I want or need to do, but when I decided to come on and see what was going on and I saw the thread about the original fight club members I was happy to see that there are still some of you all around. I hope you are doing okay, and im sorry I just kind of skipped out on you all. take care
__________________
peace and love
Chrissy

 
Old 11-30-2005, 04:41 AM   #8
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 258
bbalance HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

I am alive, barely. I went in to a major depression. I just got out of the hospital after a suicide attempt. I almost died, according to the ICU unit, then I got baker acted on a crisis unit where they put me on Depakote which made me manic. The doctor said he couldn't believe it because that drug isn't supposed to do that, but it did for me. Now I am on Tegretol and Klonopin and I am home, waiting to go to another hospital. I know the only chance of recovery I have is in the hospital and the place they want me to go is so expensive, my Mom may have to mortgage her house and I feel so much pressure because she keeps saying to me "You must be sure about getting better because of how much it costs". I told her I don't want to be sick anymore, that I know for sure. But that was how I felt when I attempted suicide, then woke up 4 days later on a ventilator, then straight to the crisis center with Pneumonia for a week, and now home on new meds that make me feel wierd and I am bingeing again, and I am supposed to be able to promise or gurantee that I will get better. I feel like my world is spinning.

BKFREE

 
Old 11-30-2005, 03:47 PM   #9
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 430
NatashaW HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

BK...I am so sorry...but I am glad you are back on here to let us know what has been happening to you. I am not going to press the details of your suicide attempt unless you want to talk about it, in which case I will be more than glad to listen..I have deal with near suicial depression in the past and continue to struggle with depression as my health problems presist.

I am very glad that you are alive!!!!

Please check back in when you get a chace as I want to know how you are doing.

Last edited by NatashaW; 11-30-2005 at 03:47 PM.

 
Old 12-01-2005, 03:11 AM   #10
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 258
bbalance HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

I appreciate the concern Natasha. I don't want to actually describe the details of the attempt because I think it could be bad for the board and I don't remember much of it and basically I have been obsessing about trying to remember it. The shrink at the Crisis unit where I stayed 1 week after said I wouldn't remember because of the type of pills I took.
What I can say is I was so depressed about my major lapse back in to Bulemia. I have been through depressions before, but this one was so bad. I truly believed I was a burden to my family and the few people that I believed cared about me would be better off. I even believed that The Fight Club didn't even care anymore. Maggie always seemed to be on some kind of recovery high horse saying that we have to be the ones responsible to make ourselves feel better , but all I wanted was to feel like someone cared and I didn't feel it from the Fight Club or anyone.
I am tired, sooooo tired and I turn 36 in a week and to be totally honest I wish I had suceeded in my attempt. I didn't ask to be saved. I didn't ask for the treatment that my family wants me to go through now and I feel a lot of pressure. On this board I was tired of hearing about BMIs and calories and weight gain or loss because my problems are far more complicated that just an ed and even though I belive everybody with an ed has more to go thorugh than just the ed, I wasn't fiding it helpful, becasue obviously I gave up on the board and especially myself.
Anyway Natasha, thanks for the support. It means a lot.
BKFREE

 
Old 12-01-2005, 11:20 AM   #11
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 430
NatashaW HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

There are SO many things I could tell you about my bouts with suicidal depression (and my half hearted suicide attempt) because I felt very similar to what you just expressed: "because my problems are far more complicated that just an ed"...that was exactly how I feel and how I STILL FEEL. I also get sick of hearing people talk about their weight, BMI's, people asking "Why is bulimia/anorexia bad for you?", ect. I think I come on these boards out of a sort of compulsion, to be completely honest. I don't even think the help me at all, but once in a while, I will hear someone say something that rings so true to me that it make me feel sort of...not desperately alone. YOU were one of those people who used to say things that were so true to me, and that I could relate to so well, that I felt like I had a fellow "sister" out there who was dealing not only with bulimia but many other problems too....
I know that even if I get control of my bulimia, I still have lots of other things to deal with. Major Depressive Disorder. Social anxiety. Lack of friends. Self doubt. Fear. Chronic Fatigue Snyndrome. Insomnia......
I say these things not because I want this post to be about me but about YOU. We don't "just" have bulimia, and I know that...And what you said about people always saying that "we are responsible for our own recovery" is true and false: We CHOOSE to become bulimic, but we did NOT CHOOSE TO BE COME ADDICTED TO IT!! So in a way, Yes,we have to decide to try and recover..but many times I think it is a matter of luck, of chance....I am sure that opinion will be unpopular with some people but I feel it is true. And no one has the right to tell anyone that they aren't trying hard enough to recover because we all try the best we can. Just because I haven't thrown up in X number of days doesnt mean I am better or more in control than someon who threw up 5 times yesterday..everytims I get a little better I feel it is LUCK of GOD or sometime that has given me the strength..it isn't "will power" because if it was than I would envoke that power all the time!
The worst thing in the world is to feel alone, or be alone. You are dealing with mental illness as well as bulimia, as well as other things...which means your situation is more complicated than most people posting here (sure, this will be unpopular too!! you guys out there can argue with me if you want, but if you knew her situation you wouldn't...) but you aren't alone! I may just be one tiny little person out in the cyber world but I felt and feel so many of the same things that you do....and if something bad happened to you, I WOULD CARE.

 
Old 12-01-2005, 11:28 AM   #12
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 430
NatashaW HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

Also,this may sound trite to you,and I don't mean to sound like a sermon, but if you SHOULD HAVE DIED, as the doctors told you, if in all physical probability you should have died, but DID NOT DIE.....then I can't help but feel that God, or whatever you believe in, is reaching out to you to tell you that you can not die yet. I believe we do not die until we have learned what we were meant to learn on earth...and you haven't yet. This treatment that you are talking about could be your chance. Forget about the pressure from people. This could be your chance. Look into disability benefits from the government. This could be your chance. Realize that there is no amount of money (that treatment will cost) that is worth more than your life. This could be your chance.

 
Old 12-03-2005, 03:54 AM   #13
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 258
bbalance HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

Thank you so much Natasha for those last 2 replies. They really were helpful and I relate so much to what you say.
I agree that God had a big part in what is happening. My little body has survived so much abuse for almost 20 years and it is amazing that I am still here. My husband told me that when he found me he told me he would not let me die and he has been so supportive since I have been home. All of the little things I have needed and wanted from him, the ways he cold show me he loves me, he has been doing. They are small in action but enormous in emotion to me, things like writng I love you on my box of cigarettes, the way he gives me affection now, (without it meaning we should have sex), it really makes me feel better.

I am going to a hospital that specializes in Eds and dual daignosis next week. I was interviewed yesterday and they accepted me. They gave me a time frame of 60 days, which really isn't so bad for inpatient. It is 3 hours away from my town and I won't see my husband much but I was prepared to never see him again, so I will go with the best intentions and try as hard as I can.

Like you, I didn't think this board was all that helpful, but your words has been a big support, so thank you Natasha.

I will try to stay on the board until I go to the hospital, then hopefully after a couple of months I will be able to come back with a much different perspective about me, my disorders and my life.
Love to you Natasha,
bkfree

 
Old 12-03-2005, 10:03 AM   #14
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 430
NatashaW HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

I am very ....that you are taking this step (it's actually a leap) towards a better understanding of yourself and your disorders.

Please check back in if you care to, I'd like to know how you are doing (but no obligation).

All the best!
Natasha

 
Old 12-03-2005, 10:51 PM   #15
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Utah
Posts: 373
maggie043 HB User
Re: Are any of the original "fight club" members still here??

I resent the recovery high horse comment - I never said I was recovered nor anywhere near it just really trying to . And we are responsible for the choices we make to recover, or not, whether you or I like it. I have had geniune care and concern for those here. Anyway not sure why I am even bothering to address this, all it does is make me feel sad. And you are right it is about much more than ED, I've been on chemo for about a month and it really sucks and ED is still here, as well as PTSD and some other things, I wish it were just about ED, that would seem so much easier...

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
hotflashes and questions - I have "officially" joined "the club" purplefish67 Menopause 6 01-27-2008 09:03 PM
2 days clean and "not"counting. fitz31 Addiction & Recovery 3 01-04-2008 03:27 PM
Looks like I may be joining "Club ACDF" moonchaser Spinal Cord Disorders 1 05-29-2007 05:37 PM
I"m 24 and just found out that I have emphysemic lungs of 60-70 year old repaerG Lung & Respiratory Disorders / COPD 9 01-11-2007 07:10 AM
I am SO sick of the "stigma" sharonn Pain Management 17 12-18-2006 01:26 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Phoenix (22), aileb (10), melinasw (5), helives (4), slenderella (3), knittingirl (3), Betty228 (3), jenga890 (3), hopefulgirlny (2), txarmywife (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1164), MSJayhawk (999), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (667), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:10 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!