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Old 04-13-2006, 06:44 PM   #1
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texascowgirl8 HB User
trying but stuck...

i have my senior pictures on saturday and my prom the next saturday. im so scared to gain weight for both of those especially prom. so as result of how things were last week and weekend which was filled with fattening food and purging, i went on the total opposite end and i havent eaten since sunday. i know i know, not good please dont lecture. but everytime i tell myself 'ok just eat something healthy, youll be ok you wont gain.'... i just cant do it im SO scared that ill go to the extreme and gorge myself. but i know its not healthy to go til next saturday with no food. how can i eat just a little bit but not cave into the extreme hunger i will feel after getting some food in me, without binging?

 
Old 04-13-2006, 07:54 PM   #2
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Re: trying but stuck...

Ok, I won't lecture you....

The best way to avoid b/p is to eat small meals/snacks constantly...meaning,every 2-3 hours. You have to avoid getting too hungry, which will set off your urge to b/p. Don't eat large meals, which could also trigger you desire to purge. But EAT, PLEASE....I don't think you want to collapse at the prom, do you?? Without fuel (food) your body can't function. You will not have a good time at the prom if you are starving. Eat small meals/snacks consistently throughout the day. NEVER skip meals-period.

 
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Old 04-13-2006, 08:02 PM   #3
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Re: trying but stuck...

no i dont want to collapse at prom, but i want to be able to fit into my dress too. see i think the hardest part right now is im past the hunger stage so i dont even want food. but i know once i put something in me, ill be super hungry and want more. but i dont want to come out of this by eating 1000+ calories or even my normal of 500ish calories, because i know that will make me gain and ill go right back into not eating to purging....

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:03 PM   #4
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Re: trying but stuck...

YOU ARE ONLY EATING 500 CALORIES A DAY??????

Tex-OMG-That is serious!!! You are going to collapse!!

You have got to eat on a regular basis!! It doesn't have to be a lot, but when you eat small meals constantly you don't get really hungry.

Honey, Get help NOW. This is serious!!!

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:08 PM   #5
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Re: trying but stuck...

on average if i dont binge its around 500... i havent collapsed before? im not saying im testing to see if i will... im just saying somehow ive managed to never collapse?

i know your supposed to eat on a regular basis.. but im not normal! i know id have less hunger but i just cant because im SO scared to go overboard then purge....

i went to my therapist on tuesday and she asked how food was and i told her that i had a bad weekend with eating and purging. but that i hadnt purged since sunday, but i hadnt eaten since sunday... and she told me she didnt know it was on this level and that a nutritionist alone may not be enough. that i may need higher treatment. which im afraid i cant stop unless i do have higher treatment, but we dont have the spare thousands of dollars... so ill just have to make due..

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:14 PM   #6
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Re: trying but stuck...

Small children eat more then you do. Saying that you haven't collapsed before is like saying "well, I haven't had a heart attack before".....do you want to actually have one of those happen before you get help??? Being bulimic AND only eat 500 cals a day when you are not b/p is like committing suicide. And have you seriously not eaten anything since sunday? No juice, nothing??? You are not going to make it to the prom if you don't get help now. You are dehyrated, and do you know how out of wack your electrolytes are right now?? That is how people have heart attacks, strokes, instant death.

You need to find a way to get into atleast intensive OUTpatient treatment.
Talk to your parents tomorrow and have them call your insurance company and see what they will pay for. You need to be in a program or have an adult sit and eat your meals with you, and not allow you to go to the bathroom for atleast 2 hours afterwards.

PLEASE..this is a dier situation, you don't want to be a statistic.

Last edited by Natalie00; 04-13-2006 at 08:15 PM.

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:22 PM   #7
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Re: trying but stuck...

ok so stupid comment on that i havent collapsed before.... each day ive had water, coffee, diet v8 splash juice (one cup), and a 15 calorie popcicle (yesterday and today was two)... i dont think im dehydrated because ive been drinking alot of water, im just malnourished right now. i know everything in my system must be out of whack... if i cant end up forcing myself to eat before my pictures, i will right after... im just really nervous and stressed...

my parents have already talked to insurance about what can be done, my nutritionist cant even be covered, my physical therapy cant even be covered, my therapist isnt covered... NOTHING will be covered! and quite honestly.. its ******* me off!

i know i wont go out of hand if i eat with an adult, but my parents havent figured out this concept yet and try to force feed me like sonic, pies, cakes, etc... until i almost break down and cry... i CANT eat with them.... i can TRY to see if i can eat with a friend that knows about me, but now that i think about it.. shes out of town so idk who i could ask.

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:29 PM   #8
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Re: trying but stuck...

It sounds like it is time for an honest talk w/your parents. Money can be found when it is necessary. There is nothing they would rather invest in then your LIFE. And your life is at stake right now. They can take out loans, work out a payment program, something. How much do you think your life is worth to them??

Please listen: Drinking a lot of water and not eating actually makes you more dehyrated!! You are flushing out nutrients you can NOT afford to lose! So by drinking a lot of water you are making yourself worse. Diet V8 splash has like 10 calories and a 15 cal popsicle???? ARE YOU SERIOUS??????????????

I predict, that if you don't start eating, that you will collapse within 5 days.

You won't make it to the prom, Tex.

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:38 PM   #9
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Re: trying but stuck...

i know i need to fully let my parents know whats going on... my mom has even caught me purging more than once AND she was anorexic???? so i dont get how she cant understand this.. our money has been long gone.. credit cards maxed, retirement gone (they are in their mid 50s already), school loans taken out, normal loans out... there is NO money. when i say this, im really not kidding. i honestly dont know if they think that a program is worth it, they complained about me starting a nutritionist...

ok i definitely did not know that about drinking more water without eating makes you more dehydrated.. yes, diet v8 and popsicles... and propel that has 40 cals per jug thing..

question- you say that i will collapse within 5 days, how have i been able to go this long in the past and not have collapsed? i WILL eat for sure sunday and monday, i cant promise you i know how much it is or how often or anything, but i will force myself for sure...

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:41 PM   #10
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Re: trying but stuck...

Have you ever gone with only drinking water, diet juice, and popsicles before?? For this long??

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:44 PM   #11
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Re: trying but stuck...

yes, i used to do it all the time in the begining when i was pretty much full anorexic. granted i havent gone this long in a month or two, i often go like 3-4 days...

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:49 PM   #12
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Re: trying but stuck...

Well, this is day five, if you don't eat until sunday that will be day EIGHT of COMPLETE STARVATION. I don't know how you haven't collapsed yet, but something terrible is going to happen. An active person can not live on less then 100 cals a day. A sick person in bed would eat more then that. You are burning wayyyyyyy more calories then you are taking in, you are losing weight.

You might not collapse, or have any symptoms, until you have a heart attack and die.

Talk to you parents. If the nutritionist is not working, quit seeing her, and get into a therapist that will actually help. Explain your situation to the therapist...they offer discounts to patients w/o insurance. Find a treatment program and see if they will offer a discount of payment plan. Write a letter to your mom and tell her that you have not eaten in five days,and don't plan to for another three...if that doesn't scare her, I don't know what is. You need someone to force feed you now (not literally...although maybe) if you are unwilling to feed yourself.

 
Old 04-13-2006, 08:55 PM   #13
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Re: trying but stuck...

yes i am losing weight which is why i know its harder for me to stop... my therapist knows that i wasnt technically planning on eating til saturday. she told me to attempt to eat something with protein in it.i tried but sat there and cried and couldnt do it....

i have yet to see the nutritionist- my first appointment with her is on monday, we are going to test that out for a couple of weeks and see how things go, then me and my therapist will figure something out. we have insurance, just a really crappy one! but since i will have hit my deductable since my surgery, slowly we will be able to start getting more things. so later some kind of program may get paid for.

i cant let my mom know exact details, she will make it worse by bawling and saying how much im hurting her which will cause me to go into more starvation or to cut again... its best if she doesnt know details. plus like i said- she WILL force feed me, but stuff like desserts, fast food, pizza, etc... i dont need full force feeding or a tube or anything.. i will eat eventually

 
Old 04-13-2006, 09:03 PM   #14
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Re: trying but stuck...

You will eat what???500 calories??? Less??? You are losing weight, you are probably already underweight, you are throwing up, starving yourself, Do you really think you don't need someone to make you eat????

Keep going this way, and you might have to check into the hospital to get an IV for dehyration.

Why are you all of a sudden cutting down on your already pathetically low 500 calories??

 
Old 04-13-2006, 09:04 PM   #15
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Re: trying but stuck...

Tex, I don't want to get bossy, but I am going to: As your friend, I am DEMANINDING THAT YOU GO EAT SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. Get a granola bar, yogurt, cheese, some crackers, anything, but EAT SOMETHING!

 
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