ok i have a real problem, ive been to the doctors and im going to see a specialist real soon but i feel like ive completly lost control and its ruining my life.
i havent been diagnosed with it or anything, and i dont want to jump to conclusions i always left diagnosing to the professionals, but i think i might have some sort of disorder but im not sure what.
at around 4 oclock in the afternoon, after eating the minimum i can sometimes only a small biscuit or something i do get hungry, and i dont know how to describe it but its like an avalanche, i eat the smallest thing, it could be a cracker, a fruit drink or absolutly anything no matter how small sets me off on this uncontrollable binge eating thing, I would safely bet i would easily eat a whole days worth of calories within the space of 20 - 30 minutes, even though my stomach is screaming at me to stop i cant, i keep going untill i can feel my stomach literally swollen up and like it is about to explode.
After this, i spend aslong as I can forcing myself to be sick, untill i get it all back out again and after i feel completly drained of energy, i never have any energy and im finding it much harder to get up in the mornings, my throat is sore from me forcing this on myself. The times when i know i havent been sick enough i am reduced to crying in the corner of my room feeling so depressed and helpless.
I recently got my weight down to 8 stone exactly or 112 pounds, I am trying so hard to keep my weight there but i can feel it slipping away and the thought of that is making me feel so depressed and worthless and a complete failure. I waste so much food i feel so guilty, im now stocking up on food that i bought myself so i wont be wasting my parents money.
You are not alone - very far from it... It sounds like the reason you binge is that you don't eat all day. Restricting that severely WILL eventually lead to losing control with food - and once it has become a habit it's hard to break. I think you need help to figure out why it is so important to be a particular weight, and to relearn more appropriate eating habits. Going to a doctor is the right first step, but I think you may need to find a therapist - soon. Don't let it go - time makes it even harder to correct the problem. Be strong, and good luck.
I know exactly how you feel. Once you eat the TINIEST thing, you binge like a madwoman. I do the same thing, only probably WAY worse than you do. It's because we're starving, our bodies need food, but thats the last thing we want right now. The last thing we want, but the first thing we need. And while i dont throw up after i binge (i cant, no matter how much i want to -NOT good-) this is not good. Girl, you have bulimia and need to get help before this escalades into something you really CANT control. There are still ways to maintain...even lose weight on a perfectly healthy diet! But, unfourtunately for you, your metabolism is shot after all the purging you've done, so instead of burning around 1200 calories a day just by being alive, you're probably now down to like 900 or something (not sure) and thats not good. If you reintroduse some light foods into your diet slowly (like fat free cottage cheese) then your metabolism will eventually rise and you'll be able to eat a piece of pizza without gaining a pound!
But, to avoid the binges, try to busy yourself so you arent thinking of food (although in your current state, it sounds like food is something you NEED)
I hope things get better. Learn to love yourself, not the 'you' ED has created.
I love how i can give out suggestions, yet cant seem to live by them myself.
and Im a guy also why is eating disorders only associated with girls and women? this only makes me feel worse because im a guy and i shouldnt really care about this type of thing should I but it does affect me it is ruining my life and i dont even know why.