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Old 05-14-2006, 07:23 PM   #1
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Join Date: May 2006
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Pena HB User
help me please!

i havent been diagnosed or anything but i know that for hte past 3 years ive had a binge eating disorder...im acting binging right now and im just so ick of myself that i need to find help somehow i just dont know where to start. i eat when im stressed, upset or happy...and i love sweets. usually i dont eat the day after a binge or i do crazy workouts so im not overweight...but i know theres something wrong with me. right now im taking 3 types of diet pills just to try and control my taste buds and ive done all kinds of diets but nothing works. how do i stop? anyone have any tips?

 
Old 05-15-2006, 09:13 AM   #2
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Jonistyle4 HB User
Re: help me please!

pena, i've got a TON of tips, but there's really only one that matters. Get therapy. with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and get a nutritionist also. that is the ONLY way you'll beat this, especially if it's so deep-rooted. also, check out the book "Overcoming Binge Eating" (author = Dr. Christopher Fairburn, i think????) TONS of helpful tips and stuff to relate to in there. basically, tips and stuff (from me) won't help you yet cuz you NEED therapy and a meal plan and to start hashing through what causes your disorder. just take those (really scary, i know!) steps and then you'll be able to more actively identify where, when and why you binge and we can all help you STOP binging, you know? good luck.

 
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Old 05-15-2006, 10:09 AM   #3
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scoot HB User
Re: help me please!

eating disorders are so hard to kick. fortunately, there are lots of ways to find support.

you could start going to overeaters anonymous meetings, or food addicts meetings. there are websites for both these organizations so you can find meetings in your area.

like joni said, therapy is the best route. meetings are good but individual therapy is key. find a good therapist who deals with eating disorders. keep trying therapists until you find a good one you really click with.

there are plenty of books to read on the subject, and perhaps some of those books list support groups through the web and other resources as well.

there are inpatient/residential programs though they seem to be far and few apart, or expensive. there is one in miami i would recommend, and they take most insurances.

beating yourself up for having this disorder isnt going to help. in fact it seems to make things worse. try to treat yourself as if you are your own best friend. you are taking a big step by asking for support here. keep it up.

Last edited by scoot; 05-15-2006 at 10:10 AM.

 
Old 05-15-2006, 04:39 PM   #4
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Join Date: Mar 2006
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emina HB User
Re: help me please!

I know exactly how you feel: Like you're digging yourself further and further into a hole every time you binge and with each passing day, the hope of getting out of the hole diminishes while the desire to do so increases. But, it seems that desire is not enough to fuel action, is it?
The bottom line is that we need help...soon. If not, then we WILL become overweight. Then, our depression and selfloathing will turn into something NOONE can stop.
When you said you exercise excessively, what do you mean by that? Like an hour a day? Or two? Or more?

 
Old 05-15-2006, 06:47 PM   #5
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Jonistyle4 HB User
Re: help me please!

emina, hon, i just want to kind of challenge something you said (in a friendly, make-you-think sort of way, of course!) "The bottom line is that we need help...soon. If not, then we WILL become overweight. Then, our depression and selfloathing will turn into something NOONE can stop." chances are hon, you WON'T become overweight. the sad truth is that you can binge-restrict for years and years and you'll still maintain a relatively normal weight. so that's NOT what you need to worry about here. you need to worry about the fact that you're living in the prison of your eating disorder and that yes, your "depression and selfloathing" is ruining your life. but IT IS NOT ABOUT WEIGHT, okay? you aren't feeling horrible about yourself because you've gained weight, sweetie. i KNOW that seems like the cause, but it's not. you're feeling horrible because you have an EATING DISORDER and that disorder (NOT what the scale says) is making you miserable. you're depressed because the disordered behavior and mindset is your method of coping with life and now that disorder has TAKEN OVER your life. i hope i'm making the point i wanted to make (sometimes you just can't make those thoughts clear, you know, lol?) but i'm trying to encourage you to think BEYOND your weight, eating and exercise. there is more, MUCH MORE going on that's making you feel so terrible. please get therapy to help uncover these issues, okay? it's the only way to "cure" the binging.

 
Old 05-15-2006, 07:00 PM   #6
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emina HB User
Re: help me please!

Well, see. I dont really restrict anymore. Like, i try to get back on my diet, but i always binge again. Also, ive been really bad about exercising lately. Ugh...well, i seem to have turned this post into something about me, which it isnt, so im going to fix that. Pena, Joni is right, if you restrict, then you wont gain weight, but you'll never be happy either. Believe me.
Joni, you're like a mom to all of us now, everyone on this board looks up to you and i know ive told you this before, but im sure everyone (me especially) appreciates your input and help with the hell we're all going through.

 
Old 05-15-2006, 08:34 PM   #7
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Pena HB User
Re: help me please!

thanks guys...but honestly i was all about seeing a therapist last night and then this morning i just felt stupid. i exercised for an hour at the gym (i do the eliptical) and then i ran for half an hour and i did about an hour of walking (i didnt use my car to get anywhere). i also do abs and arm exercises. i ate though so i wasnt unhealthy today (usually i dont eat after a binge)...i just feel like im living at an extreme and all i want to do is relax like i used to be able to. but i think im afraid of seeing a therapist...like i dont want to get help because i feel like theyll make me eat normal and then ill gain weight. i just want to loose weight and ill be happy.

 
Old 05-16-2006, 07:40 AM   #8
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Jonistyle4 HB User
Re: help me please!

pena, PLEASE get a therapist. i can argue with everything you said in your post, but i don't even know if it's worth it. you NEED therapy. this isn't about weight!!!

you think losing weight will make you happy? how? honestly, tell me HOW it'll make you happy? and also, how do you plan on actually doing it and maintaining it when you binge all the time? i'm totally serious here. i'm not criticizing you, i'm trying to get you to see that THIS WILL NOT WORK. you don't have a "sticking to a diet problem," you have an EATING DISORDER. and to fix it, you NEED therapy. it's totally normal to jump back and forth from "yes, i need therapy" to "no, i can fix this on my own," okay? so recognize that and recognize that you need to really PUSH yourself to get into therapy cuz your "eating disorder voice" will ALWAYS challenge the decision and convince you that you can do it on your own.

you want to relax and be able to live so badly, i see that. but honey, this is NOT the way to go about it. 2-1/2 hours of exercise after a binge? how will that help you relax? how will obsessing about calories help you relax and be happy? you think it's just all gonna stop when you get to your "goal weight?" i can tell you 100% that it won't, why would it? you'll be so DESPARATE to maintain that weight that the restricting and over-excersing and obsession and anxiety will just continue. please just trust me on this. it's a terrible cycle, a terrible "trick" that ED plays on us, cuz we think we've got it under control and really, we're totally working at "Ed's" will.

so therapy is the ONLY way to free yourself so you can be happy and relaxed again. yes, they'll make you eat "normal." will that make you gain weight? probably not. will binging/restricting make you gain weight? yes, definitely. just think, how are you different from the majority of society who can eat healthily and normally and not gain weight? Ed convinces us that we ARE different, that we NEED that extreme control over exercise/calories or we'll just get fat. but think about it, it's total crap! are we weight-gaining circus freaks??? no!! we're just like the MILLIONS of people around the world who eat without counting calories, exercise a moderate and healthy amount and maintain a HEALTHY, NORMAL weight without worry about it 24/7! so please, try to challenge these "ED thoughts" and convince yourself to go to therapy. just do it. you'll second guess it up until the minute you walk in the room, so expect that but just force yourself to not back down. you can do this!

 
Old 05-17-2006, 01:49 PM   #9
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scoot HB User
Re: help me please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pena
thanks guys...but honestly i was all about seeing a therapist last night and then this morning i just felt stupid. i exercised for an hour at the gym (i do the eliptical) and then i ran for half an hour and i did about an hour of walking (i didnt use my car to get anywhere). i also do abs and arm exercises. i ate though so i wasnt unhealthy today (usually i dont eat after a binge)...i just feel like im living at an extreme and all i want to do is relax like i used to be able to. but i think im afraid of seeing a therapist...like i dont want to get help because i feel like theyll make me eat normal and then ill gain weight. i just want to loose weight and ill be happy.
now you're really scaring me. i say this with affection: get your butt to a therapist before your eating disorder brainwashes you even further. you're obsessed and the more you try to control it the more its going to control you. find a therapist who specializes in dealing with the warped beliefs that are specific to eating disorders. if you let your fear of "eating normal" deter you from seeking out help, you're going to be heading down a long and miserable road.

i'd be in a much better situation now if i had sought out help sooner. this is why i strongly suggest finding good therapy, support groups, anonymous meetings, etc.

 
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