Even though its only Wednesday night here Im already dreading the weekend. This weekend my mom is actually planning on making a homemade meal (which is VERY rare) shes a great cook and it seems like almost every time she cooks, I binge. I dont know what it is... Its hardly ever junk food, mostly things like bread, cheese, pasta, ect. This also happens every time we go out to eat or get take out which luckily is something we rarely do. I never use to binge and use to have much more control. I have been restricting (roughly 660 calories a day) since last Saturday to make up for the binge I had last Friday. I guess Im kind of an all or nothing person. I either limit my calories exactly or if I cant for some reason (Like we go out to eat or my mom cooks and I have to eat the food) I figure since Im probably already way over my calorie intake for the day, I might as well just go all out and eat what I want as much as I want because I know in the next week I'm going to do some major restricting and hardly be able to eat. I never thought a person could be both anorexic and a binge eater. They are so opposite!Does anyone else think this way or something like it? I do sometimes take laxatives (slowly trying to stop) and I donít make myself throw up. Iím really worried that all this binging (this will be the 2nd time in the past 2 weeks) will pack on the pounds real quick. I'm still underweight and DO want to gain but my anorexia part doesn't and i don't want to gain too quick. So I just need some reassurance that a binge will not make me gain like 20 pounds overnight.
Definitely the reason you are binging is because you are STARVING!!! You cannot survive off of 600 calories a day and your body will not stand for it (literally!) You will not gain a ton of weight from 2 binges in 2 weeks b/c you are not even eating normally the rest of the time. And even if you WERE eating normally the rest of the time and still binging, you could not gain 20 lbs over night. Probably not even one lb!!
A LOT of people have both bulimia and anorexia. They are not as opposite as you think. In fact, it kind of makes sense b/c your body wants food SO badly so it just gives in and binges and so the cycle starts.
If you are trying to gain weight, then why are you eating so little every single day? You should be on a meal plan where you have 3 snacks and 3 meals a day and then you can get to a healthy place slowly and healthily rather than feeling so unsatisfied that you binge. That is what I am doing and it is working wonders. I was so scared that if left to my own devices I'd go crazy and binge b/c I've been so careful the past year or so, but since I have a meal plan I feel in control and satisfied. It's really helpful!
Good luck and let us know how it goes...
I'm actually going through the exact same thing right now and its comforting to know that I not the only one with this problem. I find that there are certain foods that trigger my binges so staying away from them might be helpful. Also, try to keep yourself busy so that you aren't thinking about food. I guess the other thing to keep in mind, which is something I'm trying to do right now is that starving our bodies only wants to make us binge more so eating balanced meals in the end is going to be a lot more effective than what you are doing now.
mops, i used to do that. for about i year i was sjust anorexic and then in late august i remmber i went on a binge one day. i felt so guilty and i cried and cried and it was the most awful feeling ever. so i restricted for a couple days and then it happened again. it only happened to me about 3 times but i realized the problem right away. i stopped the cycle immediatley and planned to eat meals and snacks throughout the day and atleast include SOME "junk food" so that your body doesnt have a MAJOR craving for it one day and then you binge. i used to have that all or nothing attitude also. but just remember, you can eat "regulary." its not gonna make you fat...i promise!!
i too undersand yr difficulty i used to restict weekly and end up binging and then the guilt id not be eating again but it kind of got worse by day i couldnt be near food yet at night id binge i think i was torn between wanting to remain underweight and in control too feeling others wanted me to be fat, i think when u r being fed my yr mum it could be very nice to have that from her, esp as u said she dose it lile this 'feeling' u may have confused with food i am unsure if u r close to yr mum, i dont have one, but perhaps when u r being fed u dont want that feeling to stop and u continue to eat to keep hold of that feeling the feeling that when u try to do at others it feels uncomfortable but having someone else care 4 u sounds like this could be your trigger- do u find it hard to allow yrself to take care of self? r u only really eating when others help u maybe u still want yr mothers care and at the moment that comes in food - just an idea to think about, but having spent quite a few months recently of continuous binging purging and restrictings i really hope u can identity with the triggers and get some support maybe yr mum evokes nice feelings try n spend time with her at non meal times know ur limits but dont set them low, i kept at 200 for a long time thinking i was in control but couldnt see the effects i was doing to self - take care