usam:
My DH always has been very caring about how I am in regards towards the ED, and is very worried about my mental health. Also, I have Bipolar Disorder, and that too, can be very disruptive and emotional on myself and others around me as well.
Like you and your DH, we cook very healthy at our home. We have always eaten healthy, only I've gained weight the past 2 years from meds I take due to the Bipolar Disorder.
That is a bummer. It is like anything and everything I eat causes me to gain weight and more weight. If I look at food, weight goes on- instantly. Talk about being depressed. And, the pdoc knows that I am mad about it. That is another story in itself.
I worry too about my children being weight concious. It is my worst nightmare. They already are, and it is upsetting. My sons have both even teased me about my weight, calling me 'fat' because they have seen me mostly as a normal thin person, and don't understand why I am not my usual size. One of them even grabbed my abdomen and called me fat mommy one day. It was the most upsetting day ever. Talk about a day from h*ll.
And, this one, will really make all of you freak. My mom, who I love dearly, does NOT get it. She told me one day that I needed to lose weight and that I was getting
too fat. Of course I didn't listen to her, though it hurt really bad. That was when I decided to visit a nutritionist about my eating habits. Only I didn't go back to the nutritionist. I didn't stick with the routine. I became so depressed about life and slipped into a dark depression. It was not good. Then I snapped out of it. Still, I have the weight gain. I don't know if I will ever lose the weight I have. It is like I am living in a prision of my own body. And, every time my mom looks at me I feel so ashamed. She constantly reminds me how tiny boned I am and how I should be a size 2. Isn't that nice of her?
Well I need to get going. Summer school time. TTYL
Coffeegirl
