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Old 08-06-2006, 07:42 PM   #1
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Sari05 HB User
Red face I have a Eating Disorder.

For years, I always loved food. I love to eat alot. When I was 16, I got put on a diet and I lost some weight. But I just gained it all back.
Also I have a Pituitary Tumor and OCD. I am really fat and I want to lose weight. But I feel like I can't really do it, because I feel like I really want to keep on eating and I love the junk food.

Also I have a habit of buying food sometimes and eat it all up when I get home. I don't throw up the food, I just love to eat it. Also I have cravings for alot of food that I shouldn't be eating.

Also I have lied to my mom many times about me buying food and eating it.
She has asked me if I buy food or not, and I lie to her about it. I feel really bad about that.

Alot of times I am depressed when I eat, and when you are depressed, alot of times you just want to eat. Also I have a habit of eating a snack before I take a shower at night, and after the shower I don't eat anything for the rest of the night. It's just another bad habit that I have.

I feel really awful about this problem, and I don't know what to do about it.
Should I tell my Psychiatrist about my Eating problem? I have been wanting to tell him but I just can't bring myself to do that.

What should I do? What kind of a weight loss program should I join?
I really hate the way I look and I really want to lose some weight, but I don't know if I can do it. I really want to get over this problem, it's terrible.

Can somebody please help me? I would really appreciate that.

Thankyou.

 
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Old 08-07-2006, 11:06 AM   #2
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MANNO HB User
Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Hey Sari05-

I think you should definately tell your psychiatrist about this. It sounds to me like you have binge eating disorder. I had this for over half of my life and it led to bulimia. I know what you mean about lying about the amount of food you eat and how much money you spend on it. I still do that to this day although I am getting better about it. Please get help now because you can not beat this thing by yourself. Take care and let us know how it goes.

God Bless You
MANNO

 
Old 08-08-2006, 11:50 AM   #3
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Sari05 HB User
Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MANNO
Hey Sari05-

I think you should definately tell your psychiatrist about this. It sounds to me like you have binge eating disorder. I had this for over half of my life and it led to bulimia. I know what you mean about lying about the amount of food you eat and how much money you spend on it. I still do that to this day although I am getting better about it. Please get help now because you can not beat this thing by yourself. Take care and let us know how it goes.

God Bless You
MANNO
Hi Manno,

Thankyou so much for responding and for your advice. I really appreciate it,
I am really glad that there is a Message Board for Health stuff like this.
Anyway I am glad that I am not the only one who is going through this, this is awful. I have kept this from my family and friends. My family and friends had their suspensions and they were glad when I finally came clean and told them about my eating problem. They feel sorry for me, but they are relieved that I finally told them about what has been bothering me.

Also I have urges to go out and buy some more food. Last night I had one and I was on the phone with my friend. When I was on the phone talking with my friend, somehow the urge passed and I felt better.

Yes I really should talk to my Psychiatrist about this, because I really need help and I can't do it on my own. It's really hard to get over this.
Also I really hate the way I look, when I look at myself in the mirror, I see this big fat girl, and it really bother's me. People stare at me alot, and they are probably wondering why I am so fat. But they do ask me how tall I am,
I am a tall girl. I am 6 foot 2 and a half.

I really hate having a Eating Disorder and I really hate being fat.

 
Old 08-08-2006, 02:30 PM   #4
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MANNO HB User
Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sari05
Hi Manno,

Thankyou so much for responding and for your advice. I really appreciate it,
I am really glad that there is a Message Board for Health stuff like this.
Anyway I am glad that I am not the only one who is going through this, this is awful. I have kept this from my family and friends. My family and friends had their suspensions and they were glad when I finally came clean and told them about my eating problem. They feel sorry for me, but they are relieved that I finally told them about what has been bothering me.

Also I have urges to go out and buy some more food. Last night I had one and I was on the phone with my friend. When I was on the phone talking with my friend, somehow the urge passed and I felt better.

Yes I really should talk to my Psychiatrist about this, because I really need help and I can't do it on my own. It's really hard to get over this.
Also I really hate the way I look, when I look at myself in the mirror, I see this big fat girl, and it really bother's me. People stare at me alot, and they are probably wondering why I am so fat. But they do ask me how tall I am,
I am a tall girl. I am 6 foot 2 and a half.

I really hate having a Eating Disorder and I really hate being fat.
Sari05-

I am sure you are not fat. That is your eating disorder talking. You are probably a very beautiful person. Sometimes I get so paranoid in public because I just know people are thinking the worst about the way I look. I have my ed to thank for that. I know what you mean about having the urge to go and buy food. When that happens to me there is little I can do to stop it. It is almost like I get a "high" off of planning out what I am going to eat. I can not wait until I can get in private to binge. The whole binge is almost like an out of body experience. Then comes the bloated feeling and all the guilt because of all the money I have spent. That is what led to me purgeing and believe me you don't want to go down that road. Please let me know how you are doing.

God Bless You

 
Old 08-08-2006, 06:40 PM   #5
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tallycat HB User
Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Hi Sari, I know it's hard to do but please don't hold back on telling your doctor. That's what he's there for, and I guarantee he is very familiar with eating issues as so many of us have them! A nutritionist is really good for helping you learn how to eat better and be more comfortable with food. Good luck!

 
Old 08-12-2006, 06:28 PM   #6
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Sari05 HB User
Red face Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MANNO
Sari05-

I am sure you are not fat. That is your eating disorder talking. You are probably a very beautiful person. Sometimes I get so paranoid in public because I just know people are thinking the worst about the way I look. I have my ed to thank for that. I know what you mean about having the urge to go and buy food. When that happens to me there is little I can do to stop it. It is almost like I get a "high" off of planning out what I am going to eat. I can not wait until I can get in private to binge. The whole binge is almost like an out of body experience. Then comes the bloated feeling and all the guilt because of all the money I have spent. That is what led to me purgeing and believe me you don't want to go down that road. Please let me know how you are doing.

God Bless You
Hi Manno and Tallycat,

Thankyou for your advice!!! I really appreciate it. Well I am fat (really),
and people always tell me how pretty I am. But sometimes I don't believe that, sometimes I feel like I am ugly-looking. But like you said, that's probably the Eating Disorder talking.

Anyway I went to my regular doctor, and he is really concerned about me.
He really cares about me and he want's to help me. I think that is great.
Also I asked him about joining a support group and he said that would be good if I did that.

I found a support group for Binge Eating Disorder in the paper, and I am thinking about joining it. But don't worry, I will keep on posting on this board.
I really like posting on this board, it's really nice to know that I am not the only one with Health Issues.

I really want to get over this. It's awful having a Eating Disorder, it's really sad. I feel really bad about it.

 
Old 08-14-2006, 07:09 AM   #7
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aleciav HB User
Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Hello,
I think you should definitely tell someone about your eating and how you are feeling. Please don't leave out the part about your pituitary tumor. The pituitary gland controls hormones and could be having an effect on your eating/sleeping/etc.
I have a lot of troubles with my hormones and have wondered if that has led to some of my depression and other issues I have had in the past. It is definitely worth checking out.
Just know that there are people out here that understand and that you don't have to go through this alone.

 
Old 08-15-2006, 07:48 AM   #8
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MANNO HB User
Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

HI Sari05-

Just checking on you to see how it's going. I hope all is well. You are in my prayers.

God Bless You
MANNO

 
Old 08-18-2006, 07:54 PM   #9
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3locachicas HB User
Pituitary tumor

If you search on pituitary tumors you will find that eating disorders are a side effect of them. You may not be able to totally control it. You should discuss this with your MD as well as your psychiatrist.

I was treated for a pituitary tumor in March.

 
Old 08-19-2006, 06:51 PM   #10
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Sari05 HB User
Red face Re: Pituitary tumor

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3locachicas
If you search on pituitary tumors you will find that eating disorders are a side effect of them. You may not be able to totally control it. You should discuss this with your MD as well as your psychiatrist.

I was treated for a pituitary tumor in March.
Really? I didn't know that. Thankyou for telling me. Did you have the tumor surgically removed? I have been living with my tumor for 3 years now.
I have to have a diagnosis like Acromegaly or Cushings Syndrome to have it removed, because it can kill me.

I talked to my MD about it, and he really wants to help me. Also I have a appointment with my Psychiatrist coming up and I will talk to her about it.

Hey did you have any Mental Disturbances when you had the tumor? I hope that you don't mind me asking you that. I was just wondering.

 
Old 08-19-2006, 06:58 PM   #11
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Sari05 HB User
Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Quote:
Originally Posted by aleciav
Hello,
I think you should definitely tell someone about your eating and how you are feeling. Please don't leave out the part about your pituitary tumor. The pituitary gland controls hormones and could be having an effect on your eating/sleeping/etc.
I have a lot of troubles with my hormones and have wondered if that has led to some of my depression and other issues I have had in the past. It is definitely worth checking out.
Just know that there are people out here that understand and that you don't have to go through this alone.
Hi aleciav and manno,

I am doing okay, but I have really bad urges to go buy some more food and eat it. I feel so bad about it. Also I am really depressed too. I am talking to my MD about this, and I am going to talk to my Psychiatrist about it too.
I have trouble sleeping at night, I haven't been sleeping well for a month now and it's just driving me crazy. I am wondering if I should talk to my Endo about it, I already told my MD about it.

Thanks for saying that I am not alone with this. It's really nice to know that there are other people who feel the same way.

I have a question to ask. When you have really bad urges to eat more food, what do you do about it? I am having really bad urges and I don't know what to do. I am going to see if I can get in with my Psychiatrist earlier like sometime this week. I have a appointment with her on Sept 5th. I don't think that I can wait that long. I am not feeling that great and I can't sleep very well either.

 
Old 08-20-2006, 05:49 PM   #12
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LS289 HB User
Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Absolutely 100% tell your psychiatrist. This is not something to be embarassed about in front of him. He can help you and he will not judge you. Everyone has their issues and I'm sure he deals with much worse things in his profession.
You have connected certain emotions with food and that is what is causing your disordered eating. I'm sure you feel a sense of relief after you binge and that is what keeps you doing it time and time again.
I'm glad you are being honest about your problem and seeking help. That is so important.
Keep us updated!

 
Old 08-27-2006, 11:06 AM   #13
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Sari05 HB User
Red face Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LS289
Absolutely 100% tell your psychiatrist. This is not something to be embarassed about in front of him. He can help you and he will not judge you. Everyone has their issues and I'm sure he deals with much worse things in his profession.
You have connected certain emotions with food and that is what is causing your disordered eating. I'm sure you feel a sense of relief after you binge and that is what keeps you doing it time and time again.
I'm glad you are being honest about your problem and seeking help. That is so important.
Keep us updated!
Hi LS289,

Thankyou for your advice. I am seeing my psychiatrist on Sept. 5th. Also
I am going to a Support Group for Eating Disorders that I read about in the Newspaper on Tuesday Evening for the first time. The Support Group is every Tuesday Evening.

Whenever I buy food, I eat it when I get home and I always feel guilty about it. Also when I look at food and eat it, I just feel weird about it. I mean I do
eat, and I love food. But it's just that I don't feel that comfortable around food.

Anyway it really helps knowing that there other people who are going through the same thing you are. I just hope that I will get the help that I need.

 
Old 09-04-2006, 06:19 AM   #14
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JenW67 HB User
Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Hi Sari and everyone else.

I tried to get into this conversation when it started but my internet provider was having problems. Sorry to jump in so late.

Let me say that this is the first time I have looked at this part of the health boards. I found then when I was pregnant and now I am a faithful reader of the infant care board. I know how helpful they can be.

I am here to thank you Sari. Thank you for talking about the binge eating. I am struggling so hard with this now but have been afraid to ask for help because I didn't think I had an eating disorder because I don't purge and I don't go through periods where I don't eat. I don't take laxatives either. I didn't know that I could ask for help here.

It is so scary to feel like you can't help but eat. For me, I do it at night because I struggle with chronic insomnia. I have racing thoughts at night and get some low level panic attacks. Eating huge quantities of carbohydrates makes that all go away and I can sleep. Many nights, I lie in bed and have this fight wiht myself. "If you just go eat, you will sleep" says the devil on one shoulder. "I will not give into this urge" says the angel. When the angel wins, I wake up happy in the morning, even if I have not really slept much at night. When I binge, I wake up feeling like a failure.

I hide this whole part of my life from my husband. He knows that I have a hard time sleeping but he thinks that when I creep out of the bedroom, I just go watch t.v. or read. He never notices that whole packets of graham crackers disappear or that I buy peanut butter at least once a week. I am very good at eating many different things so that no one food item disappears.

So, thank you for opening this thread. I am so happy that I am not alone. That eating like this isn't just me being fat and lazy. I feel like I can't help myself and that I am just predestined to eat like this, like I have no choice.

Maybe "talking" about it here will help.

-Jen

 
Old 09-04-2006, 09:05 AM   #15
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Karen W. HB User
Re: I have a Eating Disorder.

Hi,
What are they doing for you pituitary tumor?? That also could be a probelm for part of your weight gain, If you really want to loose weight I know allot of my aunts have had good luck with weight watchers, great success but you have to have it in your head to follow there diet other wise your waisting your money. Going to a counselor is a good idea, they can also help you, it kind of sounds like a food addiction, You want help-reach out to them, that's what they are there for.
Karen

 
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