What am i doing??? can anyone help??? - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Katrina · 11-11-2000, 11:50 PM

hi,

i am currently taking antidepression tablets because i am so depressed about my weight, i am 21 and weight 86kgs and i am 5 foot 2 inches.
Just recently i have decided to start throwing up after each meal, and i have already lost 6 kilos in 10 days.

Can anyone give me some or any advice on this i know it isnt a smart thing to do but i have tried everything else.

thanks in advance!

leelee26 · 11-14-2000, 03:37 AM

hi Katrina..i wanted to ask a couple things..has anything happened to you on the home front recently..or anywhere in life that has been stressful, or different from what you are used to? have you had problems with this before (vomiting) or an eating disorer.and..please ask yourself this.. how do you feel when you vomit? do you feel as though you are "dealing" with something?? or ..it is something that you "have" to do for punishing yourself for a thought that you have about yourself..whether it truly be about your weight..or other?? do you sometimes feel after you have thrown up that everything is "allright" now?? because you have vomited..focusing time and attention on your body, your outter image..the part of you that you can fight and see a visible change...and not what is going on that truly wants the attention on the inside..? which is harder to work on..please take time to think about these things..and also how you feel before and after you vomit..bless you..surround yourself with you again..you can stop this *S*

WUV · 12-18-2000, 11:14 AM

Katrina: Bless your heart. PLEASE read my post under this same category but title of "Is this binging?". It is dated 12/18/00 and relates my story which began much like you state yours.
You are troubled with a desire known to many with no simple answers but very dire consequences to you and your health. The positive side to what you have written is that it sounds like you have just begun your trek into the dangerous world of eating disorders, thus, if you seek help now, you may benefit without long term consequences such as I endure.
PLEASE seek local help (psychologist, psychiatrist, minister, etc...whoever you feel you can put complete trust and honesty with). And let us know how you are progressing.
God Bless and Take Care. KDB

cutenbrat · 12-18-2000, 08:43 PM

Eating disorders, no matter what kind can kill you; the problem with bulimia it's even harder to know when your time is up; event the very first time someone purges there blood vessels could burst and basically you bleed internally and there's nothing anyone can do for you; you are playing with fire and it's not safe. I fought with bulimia for a very long time and it's not worth it; really no eating disorder is. It's hell to get over, but it's worth it in the end hon. I will be there for you if you need me.
God Bless