Please help me i am so desperate+ scared - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

GlittRBabY00 · 12-30-2000, 08:39 PM

Hi i am 16 years old.I have bulimia, I have been suffering for about 2 OR 3 years now I am heavily overweight and scared. I do not binge and purge because i want to lose weight i do it because i want to hurt myself.When i eat my body over does it ALWAYS and i eat too much and i feel sick and feel like i have no choice but to get rid of it.I have depression and many other problems i deal with daily and right now i just feel so trapped. the main reason i am writing this letter (forgive me if it is dragging on) is because recently i was struck with a horrible flu (vomiting/diarrhia)i got it on christmas day.prior to getting this flu i was purging and binging on a regular daily basis for about 3 weeks straight (i am off and on )now after the flu should be gone i still feel sick and dizzy and nascious and continously get hot flashes. i am afraid i have messed up my body beyond my control. and now i am not going to be able to get this feeling to go away.I think i might be dehydrated because i have been thirsty non stop for the past week. but everytime i eat i feel sick,(i eat and i overdo it i feel like my body cannot tell me when im full anymore) everytime i dont eat i feel sick, my sides hurt, and i feel sweaty I am also very weak. i am so scared .Im sorry this letter is so long i just dont know where to start.
Please help me

Running Queen · 12-30-2000, 10:17 PM

I think that you should talk to someone like a doctor. They can always help you get on the right path. Also, what kind of food do you eat? If you eat good healthy foods in moderation, then you won't over eat and you'll loose weight. I hope I have helped! Good luck!

deidlers · 01-02-2001, 01:25 PM

dear glitterbab,
i hear your desperation. and it sounds like you may be very close to hitting bottom with the abusive relationship you're having with your body. and that's the best news yet!
you might enjoy visiting the addictions and recovery section of these message boards.
you will meet people who feel inside JUST LIKE YOU DO, and who can share their experience, and show you a way out.
eating disorders are very serious, and very dangerous, and very difficult to treat. but there's always hope. and what's making me so hopeful about your situation, again, is that you're hitting bottom. the importance and glory of hitting bottom was summed up beautifully, and delivered rivetingly, by brad pitt, off the soundtrack from the movie fight club: "it is only after disaster that we can be resurrected.
it is only after we have lost everything that we are free to do anything."
enjoy your ride girl, you're gonna be alright.
love that body! you're a sweet angel, think tenderly about yourself.

GlittRBabY00 · 01-02-2001, 04:07 PM

i hate myself so much right now i cant stop fighting with my mother she doesnt understand me she just thinks she can be all lovey dovey with me one minute then be a total b**ch the next i love her so much but i dont get the same feeling from here
i feel so crappy right now i am so tired.. i cant do my work right now (i have a lot of homework) but i am just sooooo sick of this bulls**t i am soooo sorry but i really need to et my anger out right now i am just too tired of this crap too tired to even cry. i am so bored with this on and on action i want to die right now and i see now way of this getting better right now i have nothing and no one. i am soooo depressed i dont even feel like calling or hanging out with my friends and im always up to that
i am sorry if i am rambling!
whatever im sick of this crap
gonna go rest
=(
Cort
ps i know this is my home life that is stressing me cuz i am only like this bad when i am home i like school a lot ( right now) i dread coming home cuz i know sooner or later a bomb will drop. but yet i feel bad for doing this to my mom too cuz shes just so sad and doesnt know what to do i know she loves me a lot but were both just so trapped i have all this anger built up inside me towards her. i just cant take it anymore
ok ima shut up now bye

Moon · 01-04-2001, 03:45 PM

I want to know all that makes you feel bad. Please tell me everyone and everytime.

You can fix this when you understand what is going on. You have the control.

I do want you to do something, today, tomorrow and all of next week every day. Once in the morning and once at night.

First finish your chores, homework, etc. Anything your mom has asked of you.

Then, with a big smile on your face, go to your mom, (the same one that you love and loves you so much it hurts.) and give her a hug, and a kiss and tell her how much you love her. Do this every day and every night before you go to bed.

For now focus on this.

This will make you feel better, and it will help your mom feel better about you, which in turn will help you feel better about yourself. then you can move to step 2.