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Old 01-06-2001, 06:53 PM   #1
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julie22 HB User
Post Just need to vent....

Hello.
I used to be bulimic...my 1 year no-episode anniversary is Feb 21....
I'm also anorexic...well, I'm not sure I "qualify" anymore, but I know I'm not well.
I just wonder if this ever REALLY ends...I'm doing much better now, and I did it myself, which I am particularly proud of...but I still have nightmares about eating icing or ice cream straight out of containers...
I thought I would be past that by now.

Anyway, I've managed to gain 10 pounds over the last few months, which makes me feel like I'm carrying around water balloons all over my body....I'm absolutely shocked when people tell me I'm still too thin. I feel like Shamu. But I'm still at least 10 pounds underweight.

So, I still count my calories, and all of that fun stuff, but I'm trying to add a bit every week...I even ate some Russell Stover's Candy and fudge over Christmas. It's been questioned as to whether or not I may be hypoglycemic, and I wonder how many others out there who suffer from eating disorders who suffer from that, as well...

Anyways, I guess I needed to ramble. So, if you made it through my long message, and you're fighting this mess too, hang in there. I'll never forget what a friend of mine told me a long time ago (wish I would have listened then!), you have to "take baby steps" rather than leaps....

Good luck, and thanks for listening!

 
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Old 01-08-2001, 12:14 PM   #2
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Post

Hi Julie22.
First of all I just want to say congratulations on your one year "anniversary"! That is awesome! You should be very proud. Does this ever really end? I honestly don't know. I have been "non-practicing" for about eight years but I still have issues with my weight and food. I totally know the "Shamu" feeling. I still don't think I see myself like everybody else does.....and I probably never will. I am borderline underweight for my height, but I have learned to be happy there. Gaining weight back is really hard but once you level out at a comfortable weight, the "water balloon" feeling will start to diminish. It just takes time, baby steps, remember? In the meantime, keep posting. It's always great to hear success stories! Take care.

 
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