julie22

Thanks for asking....I could go on and on, but I'll try to keep it short!
I was a bit heavy in late elementary/junior high school. By high school, I had lost most of the excess and was average. When I went to college, I put on the "freshman 15", even when I swore I wouldn't. About the middle of the year, my roommate confessed to being bulimic. Funny, you'd think that would turn me away from it.
I think I've been through every stage of this....from compulsive working out, laxitaves, vomitting, not eating, counting calories, blaming everyone else, and waiting for someone to save me.
I haven't had my period in over three years.
I went to see a therapist once, but was scared it would show up on my insurance, and my family would find out. It's interesting to me that they STILL won't say anything, except I look to thin. (now I can realize that they know...even though I couldn't see that before)
Everyone seemed to know, but there was no one I could really talk to. I confided in strangers, because they couldn't hurt me.

One day, I woke up (literally) and realized that I'm a "take charge" person. I didn't want others to help me with things, I wanted to do them for myself. If I were going to beat this, I would have to do it on my own, not by waiting for someone to save me. (Not that people shouldn't go to therapy...) I realized why I was hurting so much (I cared too much what other people thought), and decided to ignore it, or at least try to start ignoring it.

So, it's been almost a year since the last time I threw up, and though I still count calories, I'm realizing that life is passing me by because I do that. Besides, people like me better now, even with my "15 extra pounds" (they're not extra ).
Sometimes I read the posts on this board, and wish I could push the fast-forward button for some, so they might know what I know now. But I guess it's for everyone to know for him or herself....

How are you doing, and what is your story?