There are other "real" problems besides control issues. For instance, my weight does not define me as a person, right? Well, it shouldn't, but why is it that if I gain 2 lbs and go up to 126lbs I don't have as much confidence? Why does gaining 2 lbs make me feel like a lazy, useless, undisciplined slacker? Why do I berate myself for chewing a piece of Juicy Fruit gum? These are my issues that go way beyond weight. (I don't mean to be airing dirty laundry or anything, I just figured who better to use as an example than myself). I haven't starved myself, or binged/purged in 2 yrs, but I still think about it. It never goes away.
There is a difference between wanting to be healthy and attractive, and always wanting to be thinner and thinner. I don't have all the answers. I'm not sure where these issues come from, or how they get into our heads. I think that some of it is from society, some of it may be upbringing, but a lot of it has to do with an individual's personality.
Someone who wants to be healthy eats 3-4 balanced meals/day and gets regular excercise. Someone with an eating disorder harms her own body day in and day out to be skinny. She can't get better until she realizes and faces the reasons why she is hurting herself. If it were just about food, we could all become "normal" over night.
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The "real" problem 
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