Gone Forever??? - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Nessanna · 01-20-2001, 11:55 PM

I don't know what to do with myself...I'm 19 and the only day that has passed since I was 13 that I didn't throw up are the days I don't eat at all. I know I need help....I just don't know if I CAN be helped. I don't remember what normal is. The only peace of mind I find is the thought of running away from everything and everyone I know. My brain is spinning out of control. I can't even hold a conversation anymore. I am alienating everyone. I quit my job, I have over $1000 in bills every month and I just quit my job. I don't know whats wrong with me. I have never felt this close to the edge. I don't even know who I am anymore. Nobody understands what I mean when I try to explain. They just tell me I'm weird or even better,"crazy" I hear it everyday....I'm really starting to believe it and I'm questioning things I've never questioned before. Please help if you think you have some answers...I'm truly lost.

Nessanna · 01-21-2001, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nessanna:
I don't know what to do with myself...I'm 19 and the only day that has passed since I was 13 that I didn't throw up are the days I don't eat at all. I know I need help....I just don't know if I CAN be helped. I don't remember what normal is. The only peace of mind I find is the thought of running away from everything and everyone I know. My brain is spinning out of control. I can't even hold a conversation anymore. I am alienating everyone. I quit my job, I have over $1000 in bills every month and I just quit my job. I don't know whats wrong with me. I have never felt this close to the edge. I don't even know who I am anymore. Nobody understands what I mean when I try to explain. They just tell me I'm weird or even better,"crazy" I hear it everyday....I'm really starting to believe it and I'm questioning things I've never questioned before. Please help if you think you have some answers...I'm truly lost.