What's my problem? - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

JesChick · 12-28-2000, 11:46 AM

Can you be both bulimic AND anorexic?
I don't even know what my problem is anymore. I used to binge and purge but otherwise eat normally. Now I havn't kept anything at all down for two months. I don't eat all day, then I binge and purge. The binges arent even like they used to be, a bunch of weird things that I wouldn't normally eat. Now their just a normal meal, but I throw everything up. So in essence I havn't eaten anything for two months and I've lost 40 pounds.
So, any advice. What's wrong with me?

Maci · 12-28-2000, 12:15 PM

Yes, you can be both bulimic and anorexic and it sounds to me like you are. What's wrong with you? I think you know - you have a very serious eating disorder and need to get some help. It is not healthy to go for days, or months in your case, without eating. Your body will catch up with you eventually and you will no longer lose weight. You're metabolism will slow down so far to hold on to what little bit your body has left.

JesChick · 12-28-2000, 01:15 PM

Thanks for the advice Maci. I don't know. I don't even feel hungry or sick or dizzy or anything though. Well, sometimes dizzy, but not usually. And I'm still not UNDERweight. So I don't think I would be classified as having a problem or whatever. And I go to therapy for other stuff and my therapist hasn't even noticed my weight loss or anythig so it must not be that bad. Also although i've lost 40 lbs I don't think I look any skinnier.

Maci · 12-29-2000, 08:37 AM

Hi JesChick! Funny, I just noticed we are both from Minnesota. Enjoying the snow?! Just because you are not underweight does not mean that you do not have an eating disorder. The fact that you are posting on this board is a strong indication to me that you know you do. Also the fact that you don't think you look any skinnier after losing 40 pounds is another good indication. People with eating disorders have a very distorted image of their bodies. It is good that you haven't experienced any serious side effects from your rapid weight loss or lack of food intake. Please realize that you will get to that point if you continue doing what you are doing. Could you try not throwing up your one "normal" meal a day? Eat something healthy so you don't feel guilty and try for one day not to purge afterwards. That would be a start. If you are not binging, why do you feel you need to throw it up? Are you afraid it will make you gain weight? Perhaps you should inform your therapist of your problem so that you can figure out the reasons behind it. Eating disorders are often about control, needing to control something. Maybe your therapist has noticed your weight loss. Just because it was never mentioned doesn't mean it went unnoticed. You may not look "sickly" skinny so your therapist may not realize how you have gone about losing all the weight. I apologize if I sound harsh in my responses. I am just concerned. I have been there and I understand what you are going through. Please understand that it only gets worse if you continue.

JesChick · 12-29-2000, 02:39 PM

Thanks Maci. I'll try your advice of not throwing up the one healthy meal a day. But it's really hard. Even if I'm not planning on it, I still do. And yeah, I think it is a control thing. The reason I throw up even if I don't binge is cause I'm like -I've gone this far, and lost this much weight, I don't want to blow it now. If only I can get a litlle skinnier, then I'll eat something.-
I don't know about telling my therapist about it, I'd feel really dumb. Maybe I'll just wait until she notices and then I'll try not to deny it. So anyways, Yeah. Thanks for the advice, you're really helpful. I'll try to keep it under control.
I'm liking the snow. But I wish it snowed on days that I wasn't off from school so it would be cancelled.