Binging is no problem but sup w/ purging? - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

*music23* · 04-20-2001, 03:23 PM

Hey all-
I have no problem bingeing on anything I can get my hands on, but when I try to throw up it just WILL NOT come up! I stand over the toilet for like 5 straight minutes with my finger down my throat gagging like crazy, my stomach feeling like its inverting. But the food will not come up. Comments? Anyone had this b4? What did u do?
This really makes me want to return to an ED I had last year- anorexia. But I feel so fat even though my BMI is perfectly normal. I have always been perfectionistic...I am totally a type A personality, so I must be underweight when I'm done and I will not rest until that happens.
Any response to my ? will be greatly appreciated.
music

Baby63 · 04-20-2001, 05:32 PM

I used to have probs pruging too.... sometimes you just dont... well "shove" your finger far enough, and sometimes you wait too long after eating so it cant come up. But I know i used to swallow after I started gagging but DNT DO THAT otherwise you will just be torturing yourself cause it will keep going back down~ i cant exacty explain how else do it it. its just... natural. well g2g

Emilia · 04-21-2001, 12:53 AM

yes, i've had binges before, and felt so guilty that i wanted to throw it up. but like you, i couldnt get much out. for some people its easier. actually i consider myself lucky and so should u! i feel if i could throw up, i might have abused that power and become bulimic, which would be a whole other problem to complicate my life!

LilBear21 · 04-21-2001, 07:42 PM

::sigh:: be glad you cant purge. to me a binge is a bowl of soup, followed by guilt, followed by purging. i dont really think it is appropriate to give people purging "tips"...it's a problem, not a hobby.

*music23* · 04-23-2001, 07:42 PM

(sigh) I know. I just haven't been able to look at food without wanting to not eat it or throw it up or feel horribly guilty in FOREVER. I just feel kind of lost. I have an incredible want to purge.

music