help me - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

piscesprincesskk · 05-11-2001, 05:23 PM

Hello.

This is my first time to the board since january, but im under a new name now... Missed u guys lol.

Anyway, I have a problem that i have to admit to, and to be quite honest, im really looking to you all for some advice on how I can fix my problem...

Ever since i was a little girl, I have wanted to become a model... The thing is, i could really have a chance, but i cant stop eating (non-stop). The only thing that will really temporarily stop me from eating is smoking or if i happen to get a spurt of energy (which happens rarely). Ive gained a pathetic 20 pounds over the winter, and i thought that might be the problem... But even now that its nice out, I STILL DONT STOP! Help me... I mean, I know doctors dont approve of my weight loss, they say im healthy, but im not going to be if this keeps up, nor am I ever going to get to my life dream of modeling... Before my 'problem' started, i was a happy 124lbs at 5'10, but within the last 3 months ive went to a slightly flabby 141. Please give me some advise on how to stop... I really dont want food to get in the way of my dreams.

LilyElise · 05-11-2001, 07:55 PM

Are you putting so much pressure on yourself to be a model that you're actually gaining weight as a way to deal with the stress? The only way to stop is too figure out what's really bothering you and then deal with that. Otherwise you won't be able to stop. I know from personnel experience that you can fool yourself into thinking you've recovered from an eating disorder and if you haven't dealt with what's bothering you then you'll most likely end up right back where you've started from.
Lily

Peeka Boo · 05-18-2001, 08:41 PM

Hey Pisces,

I agree with Lily on this one. I have friends who are models and who have been in the business and one thing is certain: They were not always happy and were in a very stressful career that not only required them to look a certain way all the time but also fostered eating disorders. You need to focus on the source of your eating first and start discovering the wonderful things that exist within yourself. You need strong self confidence and a ton of self esteem to even go to battle in the modeling world and even then you will be faced with many harsh realities including the fact that you will be dealing with your looks and your weight for as long as you can sustain a career. What's on the outside is only as beautiful as what is on the inside and after spending days in front of a camera trying to look "thin" for that magazine spread you will need to know yourself well enough to go home and look at yourself in the mirror and know that 124 or 141 you are still a loving, caring strong person who need not care about what anybody thinks about you except for what you think about yourself.

I wish you so much luck and wanted to let you know that I, too have walked down a runway for the world to judge and analyze and it really can put questions in your head about what is beautiful and pretty and what is fat or thin...especially when you aren't chosen to be a model, as I wasn't.

Take care and remember you have friends here who will help and support you every step of the way...

Peeka Boo

Emilia · 05-18-2001, 10:17 PM

Hey! You said you are 141 lbs at 5'10", that sounds on the slim side to me. I know I don't know what you look like, but think you are probably very pretty and slim and able to be a model right now; with out losing weight. Sometimes its okay (and actually for the best) to sacrifice a dream if it is detrimental to your health and well being. Would you really be happy modeling knowing that you would always have to restrict yourself from certain foods? Your weight seems to preoccupy your thoughts and depress you, and entering a modeling career would only emphasize this feeling. Remember that your health should always come first. You say that you don't want food to get in the way of your dreams...but if you become a model, won't you always be confronted with food issues? Try to think about what would make you happiest in the long run. And if you still really want to be a model, maybe you should see a nutritionist? or a dietitian? Who will help you be healthily slim and also help you deal with food issues. Take care,
Emilia

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Emilia