CAZ

Hi everyone how are you all, well firstly i would like to say well done to jen and secondly to say sorry, because i have not posted or anything lately. I am done fine and for those people that are suffering at the hands of an eating disorder at the moment remember it will get better, i am living proof that yopu can get better. I have had so many problems and set backs along the way that i wanted to share my story so the others can read it and think, you can get better.

Well i dont really remember when my story starts, but i guess it was when my grandad died, i was a nieve 13 year old and i hurt so much to lose someone so close. soon after my grandad died i lost 5 other close people to me. this started of my depression at the tender age of 14. Soon i began worrying that i was fat, and i started to diet. Just little things at first, cutting out most "junk" food. But then i decided it wasn't enough. Soon enough i was surviving on 1 apple a day and a few cornflakes, and every time i looked in the mirror i saw a fat person. But i now realise that the image was distorted. I had some of my best friends pleading with me to eat, but no matter what i choose not to listen-how wrong was i. I managed to get down to under 30kgs. While all this was going on much of the normality in my life was falling apart, my relationship with my mum and dad was getting worse as time went on and i was raped in June 2001, i was only 16 and my virginity was taken away from me, not by someone who loved me but by a monster, Even now i re-live those moments. After countless attempts on my life i nearly succeded by hanging myself, that was an all time low for me. Then i met my current boyfriend, who is very understanding with me, and he thaught me to love myself. It was abotu 6 months ago that i found healthboards and although i have had some very bad times, people on this board have offered there help and support to help me get over my eating disorder. i now weigh 37kg's which is about right for my height and age. I am 17 now and although i have bad days the good days out number them. so anyone reading this who thinks "I cant get better" then think again, because you can, i am not sayong its easy because its not, but with hard work and the support from people in here you can.

Jen and Kathrin if you get to read this you are the best and i cant thank you enough for the help you have given me. i dont think i can ever repay you for what you have given me-mylife back!!!

If people that read this can repley i would be gratefull

love always caz
: )

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