Scared to jump in - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

headstone · 05-24-2001, 08:27 PM

Hi Everyone,

Well, I've spent most of today reading these boards and I'm really impressed with the people here and their willingness to share stories and help each other, so I am briefly going to share mine and hope for some help too.

I've been bulimic for over ten years. I lead an extremely active lifestyle (I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro three times last year and work for an outdoor/ adventure company) and I eat very healthily...except when I don't. On good days I eat lots of veggies, fiber, fish and fruit but if I screw up then I screw up big time and eat a whole pie, or a half a pizza...you get the idea.

Anyway, now that I have decided to STOP my unhealthy habits, I know I cannot do it without help. I'm so worried that I'll gain a ton of weight, as despite my binging and purging I've been gaining. I'm actually overweight right now, and I don't think it's possible for me lose weight without throwing up because I've thrown off my metabolism so much from years of abusing my body. It wants to hang onto whatever food I put in my system and no matter how much I exercise I don't lose.

I know the first steps are to admit it, then find help and support. I don't do really well in group support situations (I don't think so anyway; I'm a supreme loner) and don't have a lot of $ or time for a therapist. That's why on my earier post I asked if anyone knew of a non-religious alternative to Overeater's Anonymous.

Anyway, like I said, I look forward to continuing to read all of your posts and I will look to you for support on this loooong road ahead.

- M

Tricky · 05-25-2001, 07:54 AM

Hi headstone!
Your metabolism will return to normal although it could even take a few months. The best way to help it level out is to stay active and seriously cut down on ED behavior. I know that sounds like the obvious and over-simplified solution, but it really is the best way. Your body is still hanging on to every calorie you give it because it doesn't know that it is going to receive a steady stream of nutrition. Exercise can help force your metabolism up for a short period, and eating consistently will help your body come out of starvation mode.

As far as therapy goes, some sites come up if you do a search for "anorexics anonymous" or "bulimics anonymous", but I'm not quite sure what sort of therapy you're looking for. I think that those organizations are group therapy which I don't particularly care for either. BTW, I think it's great that you are looking for help. It's just too hard and frustrating to try and do it alone.

LilyElise · 05-25-2001, 12:03 PM

M,
I agree with Tricky, your metabolism will return to normal but it could take weeks even a month or two especially if your body has been in "starve mode" as Tricky put it for 10 years. So, yes you will gain weight, but you'll lose it when your metabolism gets back together, and you'll feel a lot better and be happier in the long run. Wow on climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro 3 times!! One thing I want to tell you is it's really hard to stop cold turkey and I find it's easier for me to slowly eat more or in your case stop binging. Keep in mind you'll still binge every once in a while. Everyone has bad days but you can get better and I really hope and have every confidence that you will. I'm here any time you need support.
Lily

headstone · 05-25-2001, 01:19 PM

Thanks so much to both Tricky and Lily. It's nice to hear back and get the advice and support.

Lily -- I've been reading your posts and have been impressed by your insight and thoughtful responses. Keep up the good work. I'm sure it's helping lots of people out there.

- M

LilyElise · 05-26-2001, 07:41 PM

M,
Wow thankx!! I'm glad you find my posts helpful!
Lily